I suspect that if I was taller,
I'd get laid more.
Think Basketball: I'd shoot my shot
over her friend zone defense and score.
Her weak knees would wobble at
my every move.
And there’s research to prove it:
the female psyche is hard
wired to conflate height with power.
Leadership. Responsibility.
Extra large shoes.
As if size mattered
more than say,
Endurance
as a true measure
of the lengths I'd go for the people I love.
Still, if I was taller,
I'd have an evolutionary edge.
I'd play the game
like a guitar.
Because guitar gets girl, right?
Picture this:
me strumming at heart strings
under the lights of a coffeehouse stage,
a tall post-modern Troubadour
with say, an east European or French accent.
A Filipino with a French accent:
how baller would that be!
I'd be unstoppable.
I’d have fans. Groupies.
Her phone number.
And the decency of a reply
to my text.
I’ll give the crowd what they came to see:
the tousled hair and rugged eyes,
the unshaven charm that makes her
want more by appearing to care less.
Hard to get: that’s what the crowd wants me to play
on that guitar
I barely know how to use.
(But I’m trying, right?)
yo who is it she's really after,
because that vertically privileged
guitar hero
sounds nothing like me.
I wish I was taller (high chord)
so she'd see me.
Because I am tired
of being turned
into a ghost
writing songs
for an empty room.
Guitar gets girl.
If thats true,
I suspect she won't get me
because maybe this isnt
the sound I'm supposed to make.
We'd just be pretending
to strike a chord on
strings attached
to a dissonant tune.
We'd play each other out:
a one hit wonder
on a radio station:
Guitar gets girl.
My nice guy cover falls flat.
My Asian appearance falls short
of the socio romantic standard she
is conditioned to fall for
Guitar gets girl
Same song. Play on.
And forget accompaniment (Ditch guitar)
All I need is a pen
to write lyrics
for my new single.
I’ll start a one-man indie band
and swoon in solitude
over who I sound like
on my own.
(Strum Flourish)
