for me, i've always liked the idea of drowning

it seems so peaceful, serene

slowly sinking into the dark abyss

consumed by the water that once gave you life.

All the ways I try to fill the void
Seem to make me empty

Funny how shallow needs
Create a shallow soul

Today I visited our spot for the fist time since you’ve been gone

And as I guessed, this year spring came in suspiciously late and I knew that it was because of you. You stopped time for me. Your last miracle.

But it feels ruined in all its beauty without you here. There is no sky under which I can last without you.

You know how I always liked wearing color and I would swear I’d wear yellow to make you smile?

But after they told me you are no more I knew wearing anything but black would never feel right again.

I whipe my tears as the sun hits my face. I avoid your name only to stop myself from sinking.

I divide my being in three: before, with and after you

Now you exist in places I can’t reach with my hands and I ache while I trip over our memories and open windows.


So when tomorrow starts without you and I’ll have rising sun and tears in my eyes and coffee I will honor you.
Love of my life.

Look, I don't know why
I feel this way right now.
There's no reason for me
to be sad
because I always looks on the bright side.

Somehow, my thoughts are clouded
with pain and sorrow;
I'm telling myself
that a brighter tomorrow
will mend the cracks,

yet when tomorrow comes
my body still lacks
the energy to cope.

Look, I'm trying!
Isn't that enough?
I may be strong and emotionally tough
I hold my head high when times get rough,
but my act of bravery is only a bluff
when the load gets too heavy.

I'm sinking.

Deeper and deeper
into a rabbit hole
with no bright side
at the end.