I have been contemplating for days now or even more.
I even seek for answers from you but all I got was nothing.
I don't blame you for that. You're just being you.
I have reached to the point that I secretly ask for you to stop reaching me out.
And, I blatantly ask for a cool off, a break, a space but you refused.


There's one thing that I am sure of, I don't want to make arguments with you.
Though, the quest lives on and it's getting arduous.
At times, I'd end up crying and felt hopeless.
And, I feel like I'm being subjugated by this quest.
I prayed so hard each day and even ask for a sign that could shed light to all this.


Just this day, an unexpected realization sunk in to my mind.
At first, I thought that I just fell out of love. Subconsciously, my mind was fighting over it.
This what actually prevails, "SELFLESS LOVE".
Often times, you would hear me asking for you to message me in the morning, at noon, at night.
Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't.
But, it's all fair.

I said, "I LOVE YOU" and your consistent response was, "As it should".
Again, it is still fair.
I'm not being sarcastic here. But, I truly understand what you are trying to imply.
You are just expressing your thoughts and what your heart is actually telling you.

I have realized that at this point, you don't love me in the same way that I do.
Though, I know that you truly care about me in which I am very grateful for.
And, it would be very unfair for you to do things that you're not comfortable with.
It is always good to let things flow naturally not forcibly.

You would still hear me saying, 'I love you' and asking for you to message me but it's not something that you are oblige to do.
It's just me trying to be sweet? to be cute? (I don't know how you would take it)
I perfectly understand what "SELFLESS LOVE" is.
I don't worry about the outcome or whether I am giving more.
All I know is that I love you wholeheartedly and I don't expect something from you in return.
..."To love selflessly, makes me feel good and whatever I'm getting, it's always the right amount."

Listen closer
To the sound of my closure.
It’s hardly noticeable,
But then again,
I’ve always been invisible to you all.
It’s trivial;
Not knowing where you’re headed,
But still seeing the seven layers of hell
You walked out of alive.
I have third degree burns
Soiling my memories-
I spent all of my time
Spoiling the enemies,
And now,
My time runs thin and frail.
My creativity has gone stale.
I’m sick,
I’m pale,
And yet my silence keeps me
Golden.

Deep to your soul
Why do you help?
Is it for your own gain?
Maybe for emotional wealth...

You lift others up
But do you get love?
You may not think you deserve it
Because you’re so above

Are you really yourself?
You haven’t been a Self in ages,
That all that’s left of yourself
Is on weathered written pages,

You discovered you were kind,
You made that your forefront.
But you realize people like that
And that you were a prize won,

That got swirled in your head,
That you were needed,
Always being used—
Your fields were seeded

The plants grew tall.
The plants of your egos
Because you were crucial,
And helped with all woes

You took their pain.
You took their burden.
But they took things too!
They stole your person.

my heart breaks for what breaks yours
everything I am falls apart with you
let me be your refuge and your strength
I will give you all of me for all my days
so long as you trust me with your heart

Just a cut
just a scratch
what’s that mark
it was just the cat
just an excuse
just another lie
what’s with the bracelets
just fashion why?
just a tear
just a scream
why were you crying
just a bad dream
But it’s not just a cut
or a tear
or a scream
it’s just one more
until it’s not
until you die

with his love I’m surely freed,
given a life beyond me.
he takes my pain, makes it his very own,
now bearing the weight at my side.
all I do, is for You, for the love, You give to me.
behold the man who loves me free.
I was dead now brought to life.
his love rescued me.
in the deepness of the nights,
he lays quiet at my side.
and when I’m bound with fear,
he reminds me that he is near.