Many kings there have been,
Many those who tried to leave their mark,
and thought that they left.
They were destroyed by nature and time,
in some years.
Nature and time, the real kings, they spare none.
Yet, the one who lives for others,
becomes a sweetheart of these kings...


© Manan sheel.

my eyes shot open and terror gripped my bones
I breathed heavily through my nose, eyes scanning my dark room.
with my chest heaving, my fingers fumbled for my phone;
with a click the brightness illuminated my face
quickly, I found your name but I hesitated,
fearful of disturbing you, bogging you down with my own horror.
but I had no other choice. at that time you were my only source of calm.
the dial rung one, two, three times and when you answered I felt relief.
hearing your voice my breath at last evened,
and my heart slowed.
you comforted me whispering I was okay and you were right there.
the gentleness found in your essence, I relaxed.
your quiet presence held me closely under the bend of tired vocal cords.
without any question you decided to stay with me
and as if I had come and crawled in beside you in your bed,
you planted a kiss on my head and wrapped me in your warm embrace.
soothing me you surfaced the calm within me
and there was no maybe in your commitment to stay.
hushing, quieting, lulling and rocking me to sleep
I felt your protection, I knew I was safe,
and the safety in your arms will never disappear.

medicine doesn't always come in the form of a capsule, powder or bitter tasting liquid. medicine isn't always hard to swallow or a pain to refill at the pharmacy, nor is it made by a chemist wearing a white coat and goggles. sometimes medicine is a heartfelt laugh from the person you love. it's a gentle whisper that everything is okay, a squeeze of the hand bringing reassurance and calm. medicine is a smile with eyes turned up in a grin. it's an hour of time spent in the park with kisses and conversation. it doesn't come with annoying side-effects of pounding headaches and dizziness with fatigue. instead it reaps results: healing of mind, body and soul.

To be selfless, to be loveless

They are similar
In that there is always less
Of something there once was

Less of self, less of love

I wanted to think of you more
So I thought of myself less

I wanted to love you more
So I loved myself less

You asked for more
So I wanted you less

And once again,
My love betrayed me.
He found one better,
One that filled his soul in ways that I could never.
She’s not broken like me,
But neither is she kind like me;
Or selfless like me;
Or caring like me either.
So, when he stares at her
In the same way he used to stare at me,
I hope he sees everything that she is not
As well as everything she is.
She may fill his soul in ways that I could never,
But she will never fill his soul like me.
She may be the one he chose,
But she will never be me.

I hate to let you go
But your happiness  is far
more important than mine.

Hidden in your eyes
the only portrait of mine
Wish I could see it once
through my eyes
which were yours earlier!

Don't have much to say
Just writting, my heart to obey
Everything hurts so much today
Everything falls along, but not my way

I, a slay..
A clueless little girl, so gray
No way for me to go, affraid
Scared and alone once more, no hey!
Can't believe what my eyes saw today

Why do I feel so alone again, Sunday
Another week has passed away
I'm scared to ask for help, I pray

My lips where yours, your prey
My hips you touch, no shame
Is that your new girlfriend, Fray?
I can't believe what I saw today..

that man...
he's a goner trapped in a physical flesh
he trusts no one
well, I guess
and hatred is feasting his soul
he's a stranger everyday and no one
knows him
that man...
he's good at deprecating himself
in his mind, you'll find an eccentric kind
of chaos
in his heart, it is over a negative hundred fahrenheit
-- stonecold.
but that is my man
he is a beautiful chaos
I see him as precious as a water to this earth
I want to hold him moreover a forever
until he bleeds no more
until he could smile a genuine one
until his heart becomes warm in my embrace

but my man clothed himself
in thick sheets of anxiety

yet, I will reach brokenness to cover him
with my love, I'll do it until it fix him

yes, I really love that man.