i know that i'm worth more than my body
truly
but holy hell
did you see that girl and they way they looked at her
i compared myself to her without giving it a second thought
and suddenly i'm fishing my sweater out of
my bag to cover up my arms and torso
i feel like jupiter compared to mars
i feel like my body parts expanded and i'm gonna be
floating around the room any second now
my father always told me that beauty was all
in the face but now i find myself wondering
if that was just a pretty little lie

If you could
be anything or
anyone
in the world-
Why wouldn't you be
you?

Self- confidence is not something so easily obtained .
These negative remarks , opinions  and thoughts remain.
Stabbing at my self-esteem.
Its original state would never be redeemed .
Self-confidence seem only like a dream.
Society and these unrealistic expectations work together as a team.
Bringing my Self-Confidence to its knees .
Trying hard to win against societies'  high  expectations.
But it is a battle I cannot win, just need  a little demonstration .
That shows your skincolor , bodyshape doesn't define you.
That thinner or whiter is better isn't true.
Just give us a clue .

Even I spend years with my shadow,
But still I don’t know her desires
and destination!

By; Nida Mahmoed

I am holding a fire in me,
A fire of words of truth,
I believe that this fire
will lustre our inner song too,
Beloved the sound of truth
that we are holding,

I know sometimes
it’s hard but baby don’t
stop moving towards that fire!

By; Nida Mahmoed

I spent months
setting them up

those emotional "dominoes"

black rectangles on end
balanced just so
white spots spelling out

ego
    emotions
                soul

just a sharp stroke
of a tongue
on one corner
and
they fall...
   and fall...
      and fall...

they lay
      scattered
                  and
                     chaotic

on their backs
          like beetles
unable to turn

their undersides exposed
                             and vulnerable

how many times
            can they be realigned

how many times
              before the spots erode

how many times
               before it's empty inside

like dead beetles'
                       dry, brittle shells?

it is not in my nature

to be as I am.

I am not just a creature

of mould or of damp.




I will not be converted

to some noxious disease,

nor will I be perverted

to just stand on my knees.




I will not bow my head,

nor my heart or my hands,

as they're all I have had

to stand tall through time's sands.




you can shout if you please,

I am still my own boss

and will never just seize

the days that have past.