In the quiet expanse of time, I find myself grappling with truths and untruths, wondering if I deceive even my own heart into believing I've attained tranquillity. Indeed, I am in a state of well-being, owing to the strides I've taken on this journey of self-betterment. Yet, the undulating waves of emotion persist – highs and lows interweaving like threads in a tapestry. Perfection remains elusive, and perhaps that's the beauty, for I've poured my essence into every endeavour.

Now, as I stand at the crossroads of zero, an architect of my own renewal, I embrace the task of rebuilding from the ground up. Metamorphosis courses through me, rendering me unrecognisable even to myself. Laughter spills more freely from my lips, though occasionally restrained by the shadows of doubt. Tears flow more earnestly, yet at times, I still restrain their cascade. Solitude becomes a cherished companion, a realm I delve into to nurture my soul. Simultaneously, the embrace of friends becomes a celebration of my being, an affirmation of the love I hold for myself in their company.

In this delicate dance, I witness the scales of life gradually finding equilibrium. The pendulum, once erratic, now sways in a harmonious rhythm. The art of relearning tranquillity unfolds before me, a masterpiece in progress, painted with the hues of experience and wisdom.

Time, the patient sculptor moulds each fragment of my existence. And in its embrace, I find solace. For while the road ahead is veiled in uncertainty, I stand here, resilient, embodying the truth that healing is a symphony of seconds and seasons.

And as I mend, I extend to you, a wish that your heart finds solace too. In this dance of existence, in shadows and light – may we emerge stronger, taking flight.

today i saw myself as a crepe myrtle blossom

bursting magenta, dripping with life

so full and juicy and lotus-eating

demanding of attention

not only for an earthly beauty,
but for the allure of aliveness

how could i ever feel contempt for a body like this?

so i promise myself-
next time the comparison monsters of my mind try to take control

i will remember myself as a crepe myrtle blossom

The blood drips--
Warm but cold.
Nothing changes--
The feeling is old.
Quiet sobs--
Come from my room.
This unsettling addiction--
Will be my doom.

To be a lover is to hold the utmost importance, care, and intention when loving someone as you would love yourself
The limits of a lover are held in those moments when love feels like the impossible choice
To be a lover is to take those very impossible choices and make them a moment of grace, courage, and compassion
To be a lover is to be as patient as the slow moving moon, stoical in the night sky holding an intense glow, savoring every moment of anticipation while waiting for the bright sun to return and smile back at him
The limits of a lover are held in those moments when loving yourself is an option, a choice, and an impossible one to
To truly be a lover is to love the impossible and stare it down with the intensity and heat that love brings in its stride
I don't see myself as a lover but one day I would love to be one