Lay me down heavy on the ground
Broken and bruised
Shine down on me daily
Warm and loving
Watch me blossom from shadows
Beautiful and yours

Let self-esteem make you beam.
Make thick-skin your fort.
Have Belief in every dream
And hold that Positive Thought.

Paul Butters

In
1, 2, 3.
Out
1, 2, 3, 4.

In
1, 2, 3.
Out
1, 2, 3, 4.

This breathing exercise
Won't change a thing.
But at least
I won't feel so much like
I'm drowning myself.

This distance between us
Is something I've become
Vividly aware of.
Much like my veins,
Much like my faults.

Maybe it's just me,
But I'd get frustrated with me too.
I know because I am me.
I live in my head.

I am ever the curious,
And ever the wondering.
Ever the insecure,
Forever grasping at straws
Hoping that I'd find that one virtue
About me
That will make me worthwhile.

I breathe,
Very aware of the expanding lungs beneath my ribcage,
The pulsating, blood filled heart in my chest.
Beating and beating and beating
Crying and crying and crying out:
Please just love us, we're all trying so hard!
Demanding that I follow it
To the end of time.

In
1, 2, 3.
Out,
1, 2, 3, 4.

Feeling unhappy;
that I'm not good enough
Unconvinced and in despair,
Disbelief in my own
act and decisions

I am doing the best I could
to meet the expectations;
thus I am frustrated

Why am I putting
a lot of pressure on myself
just to seek attention?

I am trying hard
until gratified
Why am I still unfulfilled?

In fact, I am scared
I fear that I may fail
and may not reach satisfaction

It feeds my self-doubt
perhaps I am good-for-nothing

and i'm a sad heart
in a stout body
with a thirsty mind
longing for reprieve
my bones are weary

like crystals my teardrops
shatter into a million fractals
there is no space for wholeness
no room for one piece
i am a sad heart
in the shape of a shipwreck

The path you take
The choice you make
It's all your decision
It's all your own vision

Cause everything's possible
This everything's now
It is what it is
You never know how

But if you believe
You can make a difference
And what a relief
This knowledge might bring
Just try everything
Try to do it your way
Let this be your one,
Your only experience

Remember that day
You look back on life
You see what it brings
You're staying alive

The difference
It's there
No one can deny
You made it,
You can
You are satisfied
 :)

How do I explain that
today is a day I loathe myself
till red raw bones slip out of
their skin cages and bitter tendons

snap snap snap, ribs twisted,
fingernails gripping this bloodless face
white polka dot prints darkening
later to purple, I want to run away

but I cannot leave this house, I want
to forget but not to forgive, burning acid
sickening my stomach, I ***** hatred
at the mirror, there is nothing

good here, there is only
violence spinning a coin
and me.

It's getting me worried
It loses all glory
Confusion and fears
Is there, what appears

Another strange moment
The energy's missing
Its colour is new
A new day processing

As if I changed
My program in brains
As if the software
Needed some updates

Relaxed but tense
The opposites rule
Too less defense
Too much to do

The energy's a useful tool
I need to get from somewhere
It should appear inside of me
Not the confusion, that I see

I kinda lost something
The passing days
I tried to evaluate
But it's a mess

I wanted it perfect
I wanted it right
But now life's teaching me
It's alright

I gotta accept it
I gotta move on
I gotta just stop
Comparing at all

Too much to question there
I know, I don't know where
The best solution's hiding
But I will fight, Ill find it

This is already
What I do right now
I give myself energy
I give myself power

I encourage myself
To go on
Keep on moving
On fighting
Stop crying
Amusing how dramatic it sounds
My creativity now is unbundling

I will heal the confusion
I will break the illusion
I will always keep going
And myself, it is growing