Smoke
filling your lungs
Red sunset
that same smoke
Floating, filling
the air
90 degrees
humid
Confusion
Loss
The hot pavement of the sidewalk.
Screams in the back of your mind,
Constant
Everybody is fighting
Just like your secret screams

Rocking your head back and forth
Disbelieving faces stare
As you cry for mercy
Quietly going insane

Dropped through the hole
Feeling nothing at all
As you saw what the world could be
Reality and fantasy kaleidoscoping

When you awoke--
The brightness was gone
Vanished from your mind
And your ideas seemed inconceivable
--to the others

Oh, the others
The disbelievers
The skeptics
The ones that refused to open their mind

Possibility spreads like a tree from a single root
But they are unable to see it
Instead, they dismiss you
Send you to the sanitarium
Where your screams of madness can be heard
Even today

She sat there with her rusty voice box, a  drought on her tongue and a pen aching to flood the pristine sheet with blue ink.
She poured pain into words of refuge and tucked the love etched memories into words.
She wrote to the ones she loved, who made her heart beat ever so intensely. For who rooted her strengthening her spine with courage. For the ones who betrayed, abandoned and hurt making her swallow sorrows whole on empty stomach.
She undressed her truth as she painted shades of past, resurfacing the suppressed from the dustiest parts of her mind, reigniting the dying embers. As she wrote thoughts screamed to be heard, memories weeped to be replayed as she crafted sentences, paragraphs, beginning and ends, sunrises and sunsets; the breathing of her heart allowing her to feel a sense of relief.
But she never sent them, for they were riskier to be read by them than to be tucked safely away.

Ride through my veins, driven by your cruelty and anger
Leave me nothing, but those shadows and dark places,
You were afraid to touch, afraid to enter,
As my broken hands clenched red fabric,
Twisted it ‘round as whispered screams echoed.
The cracks though my being, held together by silken webs.
A rough touch enough to break me and scatter,
My mirrored reflection towards the stars.

1
Screams in the night,
Sleeping all day.
Yelps of pain,
And cries of anger.

****** torture,
Mind disruption,
Soul disappearance

Tears in the light
Screams in the night.

2
Terror through and through,
Scared thoughts of pain.
Living in sadness,
Then despair,

Life drained.
Dark appears.
Nothing left.

All taken and blue,
Terror through and through.

i am nothing
but a memory
a thought or a forgotten dream

i am nothing                  
but my emptiness
my vicious goals and my silent screams

Woke up from my dreaming to a nightmare, she was screaming
Got back to the car the radio sang about my demons
I hate heathens, singing along for no reason
As she slams the door behind me
Revenge is open season

5 days in I look like you
Broken glass back pain
*** stains on my shoes
Redoing old never feels new
Only see myself in a car mirror view

I want her in my windshield
I want her name on my screen
Any source of affection puts worth into screams
A honk has no emotion
My notions are bleeding
Feeding on desire, I hit the gas
Before my house catches fire

Her words were knives, dipped in lies
I realize theres no easy way
I "Take a break from all my sinning"
But God made me gay

Screams turned to silence
Caution escaped violence
My bed never felt so wrong
When I left my demons in song
I long for my steering wheel
I feel I have to stop admitting
Can't help that I'm forgiving
I named my car twister
I call this twisted living