Why do I make the same mistakes
over
and
over
and
over
again?
Why can't I just be normal?
Why can't I just do things right the first time?
Or at least the second time?
What the hell is wrong with me?

The sun sets around this ***** glass.
Just a few more hours until I become someone new and forget who I was.
Im waiting for the fireworks but they'll surely never come.
There's no celebration for killing the demon that's been killing everyone.

You think a simple crucifix could fix this.
I don't think I can send my monster back to hell.
I've killed my insides I'm nothing more then a shell of myself.

Looking in the mirror and reading the lines that I split with a razor blade.
Like memories made behind the closed shades as I held my hand on your face.
I'll try to shake the things I can't take haunted by the other me's mistakes.

It has control, I cant get a grip,
I'm a passenger on this sinking ship.
Maybe I'll fight and I'll come out alive,
But what's the point of living when I have to pay for his crime?

These smooth talking pills will get what they want.
I'll just cave in and forget I don't need another shot.
It's never felt so good to not feel at all.

You think a simple crucifix could fix this.
I don't think I can send my monster back to hell.
I've killed my insides I'm nothing more then a hollow shell of myself.

He will keep coming back, there is no escape.
I'll constantly ask forgiveness for his mistakes.

I'm terrified to see what this new year has in store for me.
I'm starting to believe that there has only been one me.

New year, new problems
Same old ways to solve them

New year, new love
Same crippling thing that it does

New year, new life
Same thing, new ways to sacrifice

New year, new day
Same feelings when I see your face

You showed me your drawings,
And to me they said
a thousand words.

I, on the other hand,
showed you my songs,
And they painted a picture for you.

It's funny how we show each other what we mean.
Even if we use different mediums,
Our message is the same:

I love you.
I always will.
I always have.

Her words, a steady stream
I tried
To smile, stifling a yawn my glazed eyes wandering over to
Our bookshelf the recently bought ACT prep book aligned with a
More appealing Children’s poetry

“But then she was like”
My attention snaps back to the present
And I smile and nod
Like I understand, which I do, don’t get me wrong I just

May have forgotten to change the towel
And the clothes in the dryer
Oh also, i still haven’t gotten around to that essay
My current average really doesn’t sit well with me not to mention
The excercises for-

“And I was like ***!”
I unintentionally smile, the same story
The same pattern again
Never ending, seemingly
What is this, some sort of drama of a stereotypical teenage girl?
Is there secretly a film crew behind the scenes
A script inserted in our brains
Of this monotonous constant
Unending story?

But maybe if I’m truly unsatisfied,
The fact that I’m
Right here, right now
Feeling it, proves
That I have the capacity to desire change
And maybe,
Achieve it?

Do not judge
I,m the same as you.
Values that we hold
Every day we show
Respect for our
Sisters & our brothers.
I would treat another, 
The way I want to be treated.
You and I are the same inside.