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I carry a hum that was never even mine—
It's nested behind my own teeth just pacin’.
It twitches within the folds of my thoughts.
And slips into rooms that I have no place in.

The face in the faucet, it watches back,
Not accusing, not kind. But still in my sight.
Waiting to see if I'll either blink first,
Or just admit I’ve been sleeping upright.

There’s a dark ritual in my own pretending.
Though the stillness isn’t staged at all.
I’m not rehearsing the way that I'll answer.
These questions, I just hope that they never call.

The lightbulb that hums, sick of carelessness—
And sick of flickering knowing I never mind..
Even my own shadow has memorized,
The way I don’t breathe, act, or move right.

I fold my hands up in the wrong directions.
I acknowledge nonexistent people with words.
There’s comfort inside this cold dissonance,
Like that perfect chord that's too broken to be heard.

Time doesn’t pass me; it floats or reruns.
Moments just drip right back to no form.
I stir up the air just to prove I exist,
Forget why I did it, then stir up some more.

The consequences? I can't say they crush me.
It’s different than that—it’s odd, and so patient.
It’s like taking the breath that never finishes,
But insists trying again, now knowing it's forsaken.

People like to ask me how I look so tired.
I wish I could answer with a diagram,
Of how feeling nothing can cost everything.
Or how much it weighs to not know who I am.

I don’t want forgiveness, and I don't need saving.
I Don't even truly value status or wealth.
But I’d value not having to constantly carry,
This overgrown stagnant absence of myself.
ProfMoonCake May 26
I shivered, while you sat still—
across the room, laughing,
asking about my day,
buying me flowers.
My eyes would search,
x-ray through clouds,
to find you—
tall and smiling.

I shivered, while you sat still,
as the AC blasted,
lectures of the gods lingered.
I know you felt it too
when I walked away.
Lucky us—
distance bought fondness.

I shivered, while you sat still,
talking about our lives,
holding me through the night,
smiling at the sky,
watching the fireworks die.
It’s okay.
It might work out again.
The eleventh time is the charm.

I shivered, while you sat still,
next to your wife,
smiling—
and I finally froze.
Leya May 26
Winds roared from north to south,
As the compass of life lost its aim.
For her groom had already lost his way—
Now, her farewell softly came.

---

While charcoal smothered the maiden's hair,
Yet the dame looked like the winter moon—
Pale; the night was unfair,
Once and for all, her final path illumed.

---

Time rewinds, present intertwines,
A gathered crowd—unique in meaning.
Only she in the portrait could gather the tears,
But never did they care for the old woman buried.

---

Family now bedecked with flowing crystals,
Living eyes weeping loving lies.
Time teaches the weeping crowd:
What’s lost always feels truly precious.

---

Lying above the mantel is the portrait of a girl,
Entertaining the sorrowed crowd.
Ignoring the diamonds over the stage,
As she knows they too will dissipate.

---

No one would shed for the granny,
She ponders while gathering the crystals lost.
The girl in the portrait recalled her theory:
Love is only for the dead at a cost.

---

Justice’s scale now overweighs,
Its back turned against the dead.
What goes around, comes around—
It’s the cycle of birth and death.

---

The old woman now awaits
For the girl in the portrait.
Heaven rings—mirror reflections,
As she now holds hands with her twin.

---

The pain she carried, being lonely,
Finally meets its end-worthy.

And with the following words,
She smiles eternally—

"How could they ever forget you, my older self?
You are beautiful—
For you, heaven awaits everlastingly."
Do share some love.
The poem is about an elderly woman who was ignored untill the day she died. Her death was a reminder to her family that she exists thus they gather at the funeral. The girl in the portrait they shed tears for is the old woman's younger self. Her younger-self portrait conveys the message of how she never was taken care of, let alone have a picture of her clicked when she grew older. The younger girl in the portrait(the old woman herself) reunites with her older version in heaven .
Bluebird May 26
Him - "let's do it this way, what's your biggest regret, like ever."

Me "forgetting that people can die and never come back"

(Laughter)
That's it
kami May 26
I wonder,
What does it feel like
To wear skin
That doesn’t itch with questions?
To belong without trying?
To speak without
Measuring each syllable
as if it might detonate

Some nights, I dream of it.
A world where I
Am happy,
Free,
Normal.

A gentle place where
My mind can be at peace
Without searching for fire.
Where I am not a
Wound in disguise.
Where I arrive.
And nothing aches.

I wonder if
She’s there somewhere-
A version of me
That exists without flinching.
One that doesn't scan every
Silence for what she
Must have done.
One that doesn't rephrase
Ever goodbye.
In ease it's the last.

I imagine her
Walking through the day,
Hands unclenched,
Heart unguarded-
No armor of apologies.

She breathes,
And it isn't labor.
She rests,
And the sky doesn't crumble.

In that place,
Love is not earned
By bleeding beautifully.
Joy is not suspicious.
And my name feels like
Mine when someone
Else says it.

I do not beg the mirror
To be kind.
Or for my mother
To be a mom.
I do not carry the weight
Of being to much,
Or too little.

There,
I wake without dread,
I sleep without guilt.
And for once,
I live without trying.
I was running as fast as I could as I heard those siren sounds
Blood is still leaking with every step of my way
My heart is racing, my tears are falling
My mind is blank as I stare at the wall in front of me
"I'm sorry, I have to save myself", words you uttered before you hand me the knife.
I still remember the pain in her eyes as the sharp-edged knife went in and out of her.
I can't blame him; he saw her naked with another man.
Perfect alibi! I went inside the policeman's car, smiling.
Love goes beyond what mind can think
Falling Awake May 25
Here, I’m still waiting on the rising,
But again, I go fading out of sight.
I guess, to you, it must be surprising,
How I was gone before sparks ignite.

Blowing- free flowing- in your direction,
Cut short by a sudden change in wind,
Gusts trade vision with my projection.
Reversing in confusion- now I rescind.

For it’s you who holds my attention,
But by a selfish means of protection,
Had me leaving before a storm began.
I can see I was creating a rejection
But there really wasn’t even a plan.
My patterns of impulse and projection
Regrettably have led to your doubt,
And damage to a wholesome connection.
I admit- I reeled you in, I spit you out.

But I didn’t mean to be deceiving-
I’m just a little abandoned and abused
Was never good with people leaving,
Sorry I left you bruised and confused.
about abandonment issues that I may or may not have
naive as a dog,
I opened my heart to my God

my heart was broken, so i inverted reality,
didn't want to die yet, wanted to be good enough for her.

i dreamed in the hive of the sweet nectar of unconditional love

instead coldness dove into this heart, had to throw away that probability.
my blinds could see how fearfully we worshiped her.

no more hope, we abandoned self care.
my safest space became fantasy.
**** was ecstasy,
where this addict could dare.

don't mean to blame my bully for my choices
but something had to be done about the emotional taxing

wouldn't hold her horses,
so we validated her darkness through our habits.
now safer from the devil's approaching,
distance, a decade without her soul poaching.
now free from her torment, i frolic with the rabbits.

success I have created for myself,
free from the inner critic personified as herself,

I transform my pain into art.
I dug out everything that was in my heart.
I now know I really exist,
in this new love bubble FINALLY nothing to fix.

from wholme, i sadly understand my first bully.
mother wasn't taught less than being unruly.
i feel her drowning in her demons truly,
all she could do is clench onto my radiance poorly.

in my own castle panting, still my heart beats for her newly.
Charmour May 24
She who is afraid of sharp things
Who's afraid of needle
Who's afraid of being physically hurt
Who's afraid of getting cuts
Who cries on the smallest invisible cut
Who tries to protect herself from getting hurt
Who can't stand blood
Who's afraid of dying
Who wants to live
Who wants to explore
Who wants to be lively
Who wants to be happy
Who finds happiness in the smallest things
Is now c*tting herself
Just to know that she's alive
Just to know she isn't dead
Just to feel relieved
Just to escape her life
Just to bleed all the pain out
Charmour May 24
I crave for their affection
I crave for their love
I crave for their appreciation
I crave for them to love me back
I crave for them to be there for me
I crave for there to notice me
I crave for them to listen to me
I crave for their time
I crave for them to stop comparing me with my brother
I crave for the things i know I'll never get
To atleast be happy with me
But it's not gonna happen
I know it won't
I want them to love me back....
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