wake up, it's September again
time to love my friends and make amends with myself
i'm trying to gain altruistic ecstasy through things aside from wealth
from my hands i will rise and from my mind i will provide
i'm uncovering the distant parts of my heart that i let die
i'm an optimist with experience and i hope you don't ask why
a mischievous gust of wind sets my sails to another try
opened eyes and ears, surpassing over thought fears
i'm finally remembering how to get here
lost maps and closed hands
i’m opening up and lifting my head
contemplating this moment and releasing the dread
light fills me up and i can't come down
i wake up once again, only this time i'm found

Already on this momentum
Seeking another revival
Don't care much about the rivals
Looking forward to the arrivals
Please follow the bibles
That we're providing
You got to be cognizant of the horse you're riding
To get here, to make a mark
If you want to sing like a Lark
You got to be caring of your performance
This window of opportunity is enormous
You got to mitigate the dormice
To know who's truly there
Too many are in a sad state of affairs
I got my goals in the crosshairs
Forget harping on the job fairs
I want to throw my influence in the air
See if you can even catch it
Working tirelessly, trying to match it
Don't leave any cracks, bury the hatchet
It looks to me that this is sloppy and ratchet
Laugh it off, zero attachment
I'll explain my dfetatchment
But first you got to understand
Despite not being from the same land
We have to be on the same ground
I've taken despair by the pound
Way too animals left there
If you truly care
About your art
To alleviate the tension and not fall apart
You need to be focused
Strong and cohesive
Try to be adhesive
Pick up those pieces
Vacate to your beaches
Make sure you bring your breeches
So you can start your speeches
Of verse
Over again, rehearse
Seeing the world in obverse
Verbally amerse
Playing the fair central
Be astute with the pencil
Utilize that utensil
To bend your will
Creating the chill
Among the audience
You have to have the skill of clairaudience
To truly make things work
Not only do you have to ravage, you have to merk
Never wipe off that smerk
So you can avoid being a mere clerk
At some ordinary place
You got to respect every face
Keep an open mind on the preface
Life's not a race
Emotions can be beautiful or pure mace
Working hard to not be a disgrace
Is amicable
That's what should be predicatable
But it isn't
We've fallen so deep
You hardly hear a peep
About the best ones
Until they're gone
Showcasing the swans
At this funeral
How many numerals
Do we have to witness
To puncture through this
And call death to seal it with a kiss
There's a heavy mist
When the arms are scarred along with the wrists
From short-term problems
We try so hard to solve them
Mentally ignore, block them
While life has no problem stocking them
You're your own gem
Whether you believe it or not
I hate to let my work rot
Into unproductivity
Practicing better civility
Is what will help us thrive
Eagerly survive
Is much I try to revive
People from theirs issues
Keep in mind those scar tissues
Should be history
Not only in the class
Don't be afraid to look back, just avoid the rehash.

the tip of the needle
sometimes it stings
but you have to get to a point where you can’t let it hurt you anymore
a breath of fresh air tastes like there’s more
more to this life
i know it’s there wallowing in the corners of my consciousness
in a place where change is the only constant
i grip it and hold it close
it’s the only thing you can healthily overdose
each new experience hopefully helps me steer clear of an old one
i forgot how to remember
memories aren’t dire to me anymore
today is enough to hold dear
you already lost by trying to hate me
this new life of mine
i’m still trying to get the hang of it
i know i’ll reap what i sow
but that’s the point of letting go

sometimes i forget things are better than they seem
my head convinces me that i’m in a bad dream
i have to counteract the negativity depression brings
cause i know the everlasting light within me will always break free
the god in me glistens like i’m new
in whatever i choose to do
i cling to faith and hope
i pray to not come undone
because my job on this earth has yet to come
i forgot what was important for a while
i took matters in my own hands
from far away lands i felt jaded
but i’m not like the others
i’ll keep going until i make it
this is not a plead for help or a surrender to the world
this is a poem to myself
a reminder that i will rise
and falling is always necessary

bath water dribbles up me
i lay smothered in the tub until my head is clearer than the water
it died a long time ago
i just never wanted to accept it
the transparency is covering my feet
i can see through it all
and although i should be sad
i can’t overlook the key components which made my life worth it
i met some great people over the years
i faced my fears and wiped the tears i wept
i overslept and got some rest when it was necessary
i heard my favorite songs til the break of dawn in the back of a bar porch
i met strangers and listened to them tell me how lovely i was
i listened indeed and i always keep it with me
it died a long time ago about 6 months in when i found out i wasn’t the only one getting attention
i just didn’t wanna accept it
thank you for that
in my mind my bags were packed i guess that’s why it was so easy to find the places where you lacked
it was easy for me to want to give up
because i knew it was already dead
love killed you
from the inside out
and each potential victim with bright eyes can’t help but hunger for the emptiness you cradle so deeply inside
hidden amongst the facade of creation
loved turned into a void for you
a void you had to fill with thrills and pills and feels
i’m trying to understand your pain
i’m standing in the rain
with my hands out forever grateful of this simulation
i bathed in pain tonight but i still remain heartfelt and empathetic and i wish to not project it onto others
and see that is why i can’t understand you

i wish our love was

a phoenix

that dies;

turns to ashes,

then revives

again.