I cleared my desk today
I trashed pieces of paper, old receipts and movie tickets
I crushed and tossed letters and brochures
Perhaps its nothing to many of you
A simple clearing, of items that you no longer need
But to me, it was so much more than that
In this mass of what others may call trash
are items that hold memories and scrapped futures
Because I remember them all
Every movie we went for
Every cafe we visited
Every letter or piece of news that
we struggled or celebrated together
It was landfill of triggers that I was rummaging through eyes wide open

I was exposed
This gravity was craving in
Like an insurmountable weight
Place on top my chest
I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see
You've tried for months I told myself
Today's the day you will do it
Put those memories away

But how did I do it you ask?
How was it possible to no longer feel?
Truth is, I felt it all.
The weight still came in waves
As each item still screamed for its place to stay
But I was no longer in the mood for mercy
For they have haunted me long enough
Piece by piece, I was being set free
Perhaps what I felt in all these moments was genuine
Perhaps I only felt what I wanted to
Perhaps all I did was layer to stay longer in your storm
To keep you company, to lift you up
But it mattered not
For I knew that starting today
I no longer wanted to feel that way
For this is not the love I want not deserve

So for the last time
I did what I had to
Just like when you were in lalaland
I kissed the only picture you let me keep
With the same feeling of longing in my heart
But today, it was goodbye.
With that,
I placed you far and high
Out of my reach

I cleared my desk today
Removed all the artefacts
That I marked my precious
I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see
But I knew it was necessary
I knew deep down that I had more to give
But it mattered not
For it was time to go.

To all the things that weren't meant to be
I'm here saying my final apologies
For I knew that my rage is strength
For I knew that I had more to give
For I knew that this was not the end of my story
For I knew that I am grateful for all that life has given
The people, the love, the pain, the suffering
I love and am thankful for it all

But still a mark has not been made
And my fire lies unsatisfied
My fate calls for my awakening once more
And this time,
There are no chains on me
No gravity that shall bound me
No fear that will stop me
For deep in me, I feel power
Power that will allow me to
walk the path that is dark and unknown
For I am wiser and stronger
Than I have ever been
Let's do this, round 2.

precipitates of spite
sting deeper than an angry bee
even as I shudder in hate's bite
buds of resilience sprout in me.

Today, I walk down the same shore
Of beach 'revival'
They say,
Pick a stone
And you'd come again,
They said the same before.

Out of the shiny, shimmering, crystalline ones,
I chose the darkest, small and round piece of rock.
One mistook it for a darkened egg,
While others declared it a marble.

It's a stone,
Simply my way back to the beach,
Where my transient legs once laid bare
And the grains of sand
pricked against my sole.
Where once my love and I walked hand in hand,
his smile reaching my soul.

Those were yesteryears,
We were young, bold and shy.
His shirt button up till his tie.
We promised to build a house
Along the seaside
Hearing the rhymes of dancing waters.

Indeed I'm back again,
To return the nature its nature,
Giving a last look at the stone
That held him and I close.

I close my eyes
And smile with grief,
I feel his hand touch mine,
I let the stone fall off my fist.
His form disappears in thin air.
My intention is fulfilled.
I've let the waves
Wash away the mortal existence of us.
Now remain only in the faded memories
Of the revival beach.

Arguments leave only heavy hearts
As the heavy clouds create the most beautiful storms
The flower of youth is the most beautiful
Because it blooms and takes away your innocence

Here as in heaven-Elevation Worship


The atmosphere is changing now
For the Spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the Spirit of the Lord is here

The atmosphere is changing now
For the Spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the Spirit of the Lord is here

Overflow in this place
Fill our hearts with Your love
Your love surrounds us
You're the reason we came
To encounter Your love
Your love surrounds us!

The atmosphere is changing now
For the Spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the Spirit of the Lord is here

The atmosphere is changing now here in this place
For the Spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the Spirit of the Lord is here

Overflow in this place
Fill our hearts with Your love
Your love surrounds us
You're the reason we came
To encounter Your love
Your love surrounds us

Overflow in this place
Fill our hearts with Your love
Your love surrounds us
You're the reason we came
To encounter Your love
Your love surrounds us!

Surrounded by Your love, Jesus
We need Your love, oh, oh oh
Feel the song, feel the song, oh
Come on let's sing this together
From the depths of our hearts tonight

Spirit of God fall fresh on us
We need Your presence
Your kingdom come, Your will be done
Here as in heaven

Spirit of God fall fresh on us
We need Your presence
Your kingdom come, Your will be done
Here as in heaven

Spirit of God fall fresh on us
We need Your presence
Your kingdom come, Your will be done
Here as in heaven!

Here as in heaven, Lord
Sweep through this place, Lord
Sweep through this place, Lord
Heaven come to earth
Heaven come to earth
Kingdom come

A miracle can happen now
For the Spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the Spirit of the Lord is here

A miracle can happen now
For the Spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the Spirit of the Lord is here

Translated by Przemyslaw Musialowski 20/10/2019

Black thread spins itself,
slowly entwining your neck.
And it strangles you with might
all sorrows - soon will be gone.

In the distance, you hear the bells of Eternity,
foaming sough of blood is hissing in your ears,
your eyes wander around, around,
shaking like a wagon on potholes.

You are powerless against this great power
all your past is now lost:
devoid of regrets and all memories,
you are slowly heading towards the light
- a new Dawn there, in the darkness - is glowing.

Przemysalaw Musialowski 20/10/2019

* A new Beginning there, in the distance - is waiting.

Unaware of the intentions
Intoxicated with the hatred and lies
I gulped every bit
from the bowl they offered

You wanted to offer me help
I thought you’re delusional
The realization was late
and remorse made me worse

I wanted to be free
to stop the ride of disgust
But, It kept on dragging
Like the law of inertia

I knew it won’t stop
So, I waited, waited so long
for the engine to corrode
and dismantle to pieces

Now, I am free like a bird
No strings, no cage
And no chasing after mirage
A new voyage to rediscover myself

I wanted to apologise a lot
to the ones I have hurt
to the things I overlooked
And to the special one, you

You should have been my priority
You should have been the focus
The real one in this fake world
The clear one in this blurry world

Hope I still deserve you
Your hand of help
Your words of faith
Your unconditional love!

They say life is like a box a chocolates
What a crock of ****
It kicked me down, I even tasted spit
Had me in a choke hold
Wanted me locked in a crypt
It’s what you make of it
Instead of throwing a fit
Pick yourself up after you’ve taken that hit

Out the corner I come
Rough and ready
I feel like steel
But just hot and sweaty
I’m putting it up
So you better make yourself steady
I’m coming at you
With a sharpened machete
I know it’s a fight
Things could get messy
I’m warning you now
Against me I’m not betting
I bet now you sweating
Scared and fretting
Believe me
My entire force you are getting

Life might be hard
It’s for you to spark
Your own revival
And not get lost in it’s dark