The hardest part of all of this is that you were not just the first person I was in love with, but the first thing I've ever loved at all. I think everyone needs to love something to be happy in life, and some people love their jobs, or school, or their home, or even themselves, but for me it was only you, and I don't know what to do now. I keep having dreams of people asking for my commitment and in those dreams the first thing I think about is when and how I will leave them. I keep having flashbacks to that evening we had dinner at the European brewery. You were joking about how if we ever broke up I would spend the rest of my life trying to replace you but I would never succeed. What if you were right? What if you were it? What if I am never able to love anyone else again?

Not as sweet, but
hits the spot
on this rainy
Summer’s eve;
underneath the
bursting clouds,
taste buds
seeking a release.

Need a little
pick-me-up,
a familiar medicine,
satisfaction guaranteed,
with a lenient
return policy.

Finally, you feel her
shape, unseen
on the bottom shelf:
a natural alternative
to the sugar you can’t
have.

To the girl that now holds
every last bit of my happiness between her fingers,
i have a box that belongs to you too now,
i guess.
It's nothing special
it's just filled with all the roses
he planted in my brain in place of pain
and cocoons of the butterflies that continue to flutter
against the fences of my stomach
that have yet to hatch
and managed to survive
the avalanche of  
your arrival

You said you couldn't make love
to me that day
Afternoon had slipped away

Did you ever?
make love
Had you raised an arm?
in bath water
an unattainable charm

Between thumps and pushes
growns and growls and snaps
leaves turn under bushes
Invoking ritual perhaps

No memory softer touch
No yearn for less your spanks
For all this blank intention
I still give you my thanks

There was girl in she mirror,
Who looked just like me.
Yet somehow seemed wilder,
Her long locks free.

We'd talk for hours,
About my enigma of a world.
I'd tell her my stories,
My fears, my dreams.
She'd listen.
Silent.
Never sharing her own experiences,
Quiet.

Now I question whether she ever had any.

I met her again yesterday,
The girl in the mirror.
Told her I wanted to
Be
Not just anyone,
Her.
Rid of my responsibilities,
And in possession of hers:
None.

The next bit seemed only logical.
In I stepped;
and out she went.
Her smile feral, cunning.
Told me to keep her space,
Warm.
So I did.
For her heart did not beat,
Not like mine
And her skin was like cool glass —
No red tears pumping through her veins.
Not like mine.

A corpse, if I didn't know better.

So now,
From the mirror I watch
Her laughing, smiling
— pretending not to be an imposter,
While I stand in her small spot,
A caged bird.

So now,
Melancholy is my every breath,
Because somehow nobody acknowledges my absence,
Or the foreign presence amongst them.
No one notices.
Because no one cares.

The only one that will ever make me feel close to love
The only one that ever paints a true smile on my face
you truly make me feel, see, taste, and hear love
with you, love emits from my surroundings
you are love
although you are made by loveless creatures
you are my love replacement

Tattoos are supposed to be permanent.
They are supposed to stay in your life forever.
You were mine and I was yours.

But last I found out,
You drew me with a pen.
And with time you let me fade.
Replacing me with another name.

I once told you that you were my sun
But after awhile i realized,
you were my universe
And I was just your moon

The moon
Who gets light from the sun
Who gets replaced
By an even greater
Brighter
Star
After 12 hours

I was the moon
Who once brought
light to your night

I was the moon
That was out shined
By the sun

A knife to the heart,
Twisted the whole way round.
Was it worth it,
The new friends you found?

The ones who lie, cheat and deceive,
The ones who changed you.
I was always there, through thick and thin,
But I you like them knowing the secrets only I knew...