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Having her by my side
Was a major coup of mine.
But now she's not around,
with sins my hands were bound.
The weight of guilt is difficult to bear,
Yet lost in her memories while having beer;
The sour remembrance of better days
and the sweet essence of bitter fights,
There are sins to expiate but
redemption lies in remembrance.
Joshua Phelps Nov 2019
Over the past few months,
I've realized nobody is perfect.
Not even myself.

I've realized it's okay to fumble.
It's okay to fall.

It's okay let my emotions
Get the best of me.

It's okay to be angry.
It's okay to be sad.

And I've realized
It's okay to slip up
And fall off the tracks.

I know I'll get right back on the path,
And head towards the direction
The direction towards redemption
And the acceptance of self,
Instead of seeking approval from others.

I know I've made mistakes in the past.
And I've made mistakes in the present day.

For far too long,
I've lived my life,
With a cloud of regrets
Hanging over me.

I can't let the past or present,
Dictate how I live my life.

To move forward,
I have to learn to love myself,
Instead of seeking love from others.

I must learn to forgive myself,
So I can forgive others.

Life is filled with trial and error,
We're all trying to find ways
To find solutions to problems
Instead of trying to fix ourselves.

Today is the day
I work on fixing myself.

I can't live my life
Focusing on the past.

It's time to enjoy life.

It's time to move forward.
This poem is a direct response to my poem from yesterday. In the poem, "Dear Diary: I'm an Addict (Part II)," I write about my mental addictions and seeking help. This poem realizes that, even though I'm not perfect and make mistakes, there is hope. I will learn to love myself eventually. I will learn to forgive myself.

Today begins the day I admit my addictions and seek help.
Aaron LaLux Nov 2019
Wonder Woman [93]

Oh man, Man has certainly caused too much hurt already,
from Founding Fathers, to embezzling Wall Street Brokers,
in every possible way, abused every position of power ever in, even abused other men, especially in prison showers,

crossed every line, desecrated the divine feminine,
no one was spared even the ****** Mary was deflowered,
turned natural leaders into anomalous submissives,
outgoing confident women into inward awkward cowards,
as the outrageously courageous became doubtful cowards,

Man hurts the same Ones that birthed him, how awkward,

how many wars have woman started,
how many drilling expeditions have been led by females,
guess it’s fitting that Men do the invading & the drilling,
intruding into other turf & Mother Earth, Devil’s in the details,

Men have a crave to invade, they enjoy entering everything,
like a Hermit Crab into a seashell with a Napoleon complex,
& I’m a Man, so I’m guilty by association, which is why I feel ill,
I am so ashamed, that I’m even embarrassed to have a *****,

I regret so much of Collective Man’s past aggressions,
it’s as if I’m having a past life regression filled with regrets,
holding guilt from the visions of my past bad decisions,
tired of bad decisions, I’ll never upset another set of breast,

tired of making decisions, tired of leading expeditions,
I’m tired of going to a beautiful place like a clear blue lake,
where instead of harmonizing when I arrive I just start fishing,
why this impulse to search for things & beings to take,
to catch beautiful things, to bait, then hook, then take them,
why do I think the meaning of life involves killing,
when we all know no problems will be solved if they involve,
forcefully taking the life of a living being that’s not willing.

What’s wrong with me, are all Men predators,
do all men, or at least most, want to conquer mountain tops,
hook fish & eat steak ****** rare, this blood lust is just fckt,
I view us with disgust, this forward progress is backwards,
I mean even this otherwise beautiful blank space here,
can’t be left alone without an impulse to add ink black words,

well blah blah blah, & hardy ha ha ha,
it’s so sad that I’ve gone mad, but hey I’m still glad,
because the home team’s still winning rah rah rah,
got all the trophies, all the glory, all the power, all the fame,
all the Women have been laid, all the Beasts have been slayed,
all the Money’s been made, all the Players have been paid,

So what? So what now?

Now that all lands have been conquered, all awards acquired,
all mountains climbed, & all the battles won?

Now what? What now?

I’m King Don Juan Gangsta Baller Man, KDJGBM for short,
I got girls at every club, & players on every court,

So what?

Got gold chains,
& money wads wrapped in rubber bands,
got a flashy car complete with beige leather trim,
it’s fitting the skin of a cow wraps around the ride that I’m in,
given that we’ve killed the Holy Cow to get the cream,
because we don’t hold anything sacred anymore,
well nothing except for the All Mighty Dollar,
made all this money but don’t know what we made it all for,

I guess we made more money to make more war,
treated fellow Men as enemies & fellow Women as ******,
I guess absolute power does corrupt absolutely,
& at the end of the day really what was it all for,

because once we’ve neglected every Woman in our life,
& treated wrong every Woman that ever treated us right,
& we’re home alone dying inside with no one by our bedside,
who will we run to nurse us back to health & hold us tight?

Who will come to our side, that’s right, likely a woman,
& we can accept them without having to understand them,
Men have done enough bad already it’s time for some good,
Women are meant to be accepted not understood no question,

& I know I’m ready to surrender & let Women have control,
so I open up, surrender, let Love conquer & let the Feminine in,

because, it’s time for some healing,
the kind that’s not going to come from the Masculine,
see the only way we’ll collectively heal our humanity fruitfully,
is with the Most High power of The Divine Feminine,

it’s finally time to let Women lead whether we admit it or not,
I’m not talking the likes of Lohan, Lopez, Palin or Megan Fox,
I’m talking the likes of Oprah, Rosa, Ardern & Amelia Earhart
because I no longer trust us men to keep dear what we’ve got,

I mean Men are reason we’re in the mess we’re in now,
so let’s not fool ourselves into thinking Man can get us out,

Man has already caused too much hurt certainly,
from Founding Fathers, to embezzling Wall Street Brokers,
crossed every line desecrated the divine feminine in every way, Man hurts the same Ones that birthed him, how awkward…

∆ LaLux ∆
Found along the road of redemption...
Julia Nov 2019
Then, out of nowhere,
I sat up in the dark
and started to sing
soft notes unnamed
giving and taking
just enough air
to reverberate
my heart
and muster
my soul
until silently singing
I headed for the door.
A Simillacrum Sep 2019
I love the scratch and sniff.
I love the body whiff.
I love the ****** and smash.
I love the mind crash.

Such a sweet and salty face.
What a beautiful place.
Single wide, double or?
What future sits in store?

None for me?
None for you?
Look at us.
Look at you.

Apache beard.
A. Patch. iieh.
Nn, so desu ne.
Butter bean.

Cream white dream.
But sorta pink.
Big Virge Sep 2019
What Will It Take ... ?  
For Us To See ...  
  
We're Facing The END ...
of ... " Humanity " ... !?!  
  
Tragedies ...  
From RISING SEAS ... !!!  
  
FLOODING ...  
Far Too ... FREQUENTLY ... !!!  
In Places That Water ...  
Just ... Should NOT Be ... ?!?  
  
KILLING Sprees ...  
From Kids To ... Trees ...  
  
NATURAL Things ...  
CAN'T Cop A ... " Plea " ... !!!  
  
It Just REACTS ...  
With ... VIOLENT Seas ... !!!  
  
Hurricane Winds ...  
and ... Tsunamis ... !!!!!  
  
Meantime ... " We " ...  
Create ... " ARMIES " ...  
  
SURELY ....  
This WON'T Set Us Free ... ?!!!?  
  
Waging WARS ...  
To Find Some Peace ... ???  
  
This Makes ...  
Little Sense To Me ....  
  
WHO Is ........................ FREE ..... ?!?!?  
  
From ... ****** Sprees ... ?!?  
  
It Seems That People ...  
WANT To ... See ...  
  
The Death of ...  
... ALL HUMANITY ... !?!  
  
SO MANY ... " Grieve " ...  
From Being Bereaved ...  
  
It Seems We Just ...  
Have NOT Achieved ...  
A Way For ... ALL ...  
To Be .... " HAPPY " ....  
  
Death Is ... NATURAL ...  
Just Like ... " BIRTH " ...  
  
But Guns Are Things ...  
That PEOPLE Work ... !!!  
  
Was KILLING ... " Really " ...  
Part of The ... " Plan " ... ?!?!?  
  
If It ... IS ...  
We'll Soon Be ****** ... !!!!  
cos' Nature Now Is KILLING Man ...  
Women ... and YES Their Children ... !?!?!?!  
  
It May Seem That ...  
I Don't Hold Much Hope ...  
  
But Writing Things ...  
Helps Me To ... " Cope " ... !!!  
  
COPE With PRESSURES ...  
We ... Create ...  

and Try To Find ...  
A ... BETTER Fate ...  
Than DYING ...  
cos' I Got ... IRATE ...  
and Punched Someone ...  
With ... BULLETS To SPRAY ... !!!!!  
  
See ... " Poetry " ...  
REALLY ... Helps Me ...  
To Deal With STRESS ...  
and .... REALITY ....  
  
cos' Things I Write ...  
May ... DARKEN Light ...  
  
But DARKNESS Roams ...  
Our Streets At Night ... !!!!!  
  
But MANY Think ...  
This ... ISN'T Right ... ?!?  
  
Well I Suggest ...  
You Check The News ...  
  
Look and SEE ...  
How Many ... DIE ... !!!  
  
NOT Because ...  
They've Reached ....................................... " Old Age ".  
  
But ...  
BECAUSE of ... Someone's RAGE ... !!!!!  
  
Words I ... " Put " ...  
From Pen To Page ...  
Stake My CLAIM ...  
To Be ... " Poetry's Sage " ...  
  
Worthy of A Place ...  
On ... " ANY Stage " ... !!!  
  
So ...  
What Will It Take ...  
For Me To ... BREAK ...  
The Barriers Placed ...  
In Front of Me ...  
  
By Those Thinking ...  
  
... " WHO IS HE !?! " ...
  
THOSE Who Think ...  
I SHOULDN'T Say ...  
The Things I SAY ... !!!!!!  
  
WHY NOT Talk ...  
About ... Today ... ?!?  
  
cos' Life Right Now ...  
Is NOT ... " A Game " ... !!!  
  
I'm TRYING To Find ...  
A ... BETTER WAY ...  
For ... US To Be ...  
So WE Can CLAIM ...  
  
A Future FILLED ...  
With ... BRIGHTER Days ... !!!  
  
FREEDOM ..................................................  
WITHOUT .................................................................­........... Disarray ... !!!!!  
  
Places Where ...  
Our Kids CAN PLAY ...  
WITHOUT Violence .....  
  
... On DISPLAY ... !!!!!!  
  
DON'T YOU ...  
WANT That TOO ... ?!!!?  
  
I'd LIKE To Think ...  
That SOME OF YOU ... DO ... !!!  
  
But So Far ...  
I've NOT Seen Much Proof ... !!!
  
Sherlock ... I'm NOT ...  
So ... Give Us A Clue ... ???  
  
DON'T BE ................................. "shy" .........  
PLEASE .... Share Your Views ....  
  
But ....  
MAKE SURE That ...  
You're Being ... TRUE ... !!!  
  
DON'T Tell ME LIES ... !!!  
  
You'll Be ... SURPRISED ...  
What You Might Find ...  
That I Am Like ...........................................  
  
AWAY From .................................................................­........ " A Mic' " ........  
  
We May Not Have ....  
Such ... DIFFERENT Plights ... ???  
  
Just DON'T ... " PRESUME " ...  
You'll ... ALWAYS LIKE ...  
Thoughts I HOLD ... "Inside My Mind" ...  
  
I CAN BE ....  
Pretty HARD Sometimes ...
  
But That's Because ...  
I've Had A ... HARD LIFE ... !!!  
  
NOT .... "POVERTY FILLED" .... !!!!!!  
  
But ...
Money DOESN'T ...  
Save The ... ILL ... !!!  
  
and CERTAINLY DOESN'T ...  
Help You ... " Chill " ... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
This HAS BEEN ....  
Our ... BIG MISTAKE ... !!!!!  
  
Money DOES NOT ...  
Make You ... " GREAT " ... !!!  
  
COME ON NOW ... !!!  
For ... HEAVENS SAKE ... !!!!  
  
I'd Rather ... " FIND " ...  
A TRUE ... " Soul Mate " ...  
Than Have Enough Cash ...  
To Buy The WHOLE CAKE ... !!!!!  
  
One Thing You CAN'T BUY ...  
Is ... Your Own FATE ... !!!  
  
Can't We See ...............  
That We Would Be ....  
  
Much BETTER Placed ...  
  
If We ...  

ACCEPTED Each Other ...  
Regardless of ......  
  
... " Our Gender or Race " ...  
  
I WANT To See ...  
A ... " PEACE FILLED State " ...  
  
So ...  
Let Me Ask You THIS ...  
  
... " What Will It Take ? " ...
It was the situation in New Orleans at the time, that inspired this. The pitiful response, and lack of any kind of urgency to help the poor, angered and saddened me.

I guess people should be thankful it wasn't the current president managing the situation, now THAT would be depressing !

Not that Mr. Bush proved himself to be of a more compassionate breed, in the slightest !
Mitch Prax Sep 2019
How much good must I
do in order to redeem
myself of my sins?

9:29 PM
15/9/19
Max Aug 2019
The night silence screams in my ears after I startle awake.

Another nightmare.

The crying whistle of iron, wood and fletching echoes in the night
Memories of a dead mother sinking in a sea of vibrant autumn leaves
dead eyes commanding me to run
but I don't run

The girl needs me.

Tanya, child of chains, of blood, of regret, of sin, of... hope.

She taught regret like its something I lost
Like it wasn't torn from my chest and replaced with hammers
and blades and chains and blood dripping in silence

I see in her eyes a seed, something that grows in a land that hasn't seen green in a century
And footsteps in the night herald our death, heed my words, a life of such misery and cruelty brings only misery and cruelty in return.

We tear our skin on greedy grasping and groping thorns
fleeing the howls another night again

Black hair like the stars were plucked from the sky just to give something to liken it to
Brown eyes that sound like chains rattling on stone, so I don't forget my promises.
She speaks of hope, as if it's something tangible and abundant, enough for everyone.
But like a stubborn candlelight in the winter night, fighting the wind for survival, it does warmy my heart.

Perhaps the road does not have to end.
Perhaps we have bled and fought and wept enough, and we have finally paid our dues.
Perhaps we can find it in ourselves to find forgiveness for the wicked things we have done, and if not, at least we have found forgiveness in each other.

Perhaps life without pain is possible.

...

The night no longer screams silently, but speaks the hidden language of footsteps, of drawn daggers and ill intent.
Years turned a child into the promise of a young woman.
The promise of a life lived in peace.
But as I know, the enemy of peace is the cutting midnight whistle of an arrow, and the earth itself opening up to swallow anything I hold dear.
She sinks into a sea of dead leaves and tides of blood.

It was not a ******. It was a theft.

A theft of the last good thing in the world.
The last star in the sky, snuffed out, to leave all in darkness.

A theft of a promise, made to a naive child in early summer.
Where once a promise stood, now a blade named Vengance.

A theft of lives, not one.
But regret was not something I lost. It was torn from me. The ones who gave me my hammers and blades are the ones who took my child.

And now, I go to return my hammers and my blade.

And to take back my regret.
A poem about a couple of characters I've written. The main character was as a child taken by a ruthless gang of outlaws. They killed his mother in front of him as they attempted to flee.

The gang took the boy in and trained him to be one of their own, making him their de-facto torturer, his prefered tool being hammers, hence the title.

During a raid, the main character finds a young girl hiding in a house, and he takes pity on her and takes her as his own, and by doing so incurred the wrath of the outlaws. The main character and the girl fled into the woods and lived many years as quietly as they could, the girl teaching him to be good and kind, and to seek redemption for the people he had hurt.

Eventually, the outlaws find them and as a petty act of revenge they attack them both, killing the girl. The main character takes up his sword again after many years and heads to **** the outlaws.

(For anyone curios, it wasn't mentioned in the poem; but after the main character wreaks havoc on the outlaws, he lives a life of kindness, redemption, and peace.)
Omi Aug 2019
On this day, I was broken
On this day, my world stopped 
On this day, my life was reduced
On this day, pain consumed me 
and this consumption never left 

I went to bed broken-hearted 
I woke up broken-hearted 
My life was pain 
Pain was all I knew 
I wept until I could weep no more 

My spirit was locked in a dark room 
It was empty 
reason departed me 
there was nothing 
I had nothing 

My joy was stolen 
My labour unfavoured
I screamed
Yelled 

Suicide was a friend 
Depression my lover
Bitterness my worship 

I tried to pray
I tried to believe, 
but my mind could not. 

My spirit and flesh
withered,
but still my soul thirsted. 

It searched;
Hoped 
Prayed 
Believed 
Submitted 
Fought 
To find God. 

It knew
He is my answer 
The truth and the way 
The truth is God 
and in Him 
I rested.
You don’t realise God is all you need until God is all you’ve got.
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