I feel like a monster
I broke your heart for what I am
And for what it's worth I hate myself for hurting you
I love you that won't change; its the itch I can't scratch
The urges I get when I think of my prey
I don't mean to hurt you or lead you astray
All I ever wanted is what I'm too scared to have
You're the man I hold in my sleep while I devour girls in my dreams please
Forgive me I'm so sorry
It's killing me too

Words speak
What the soul hides
And the soul hides
Behind my eyes

It sees all
Drinking it all in
Feelings left unsaid
Thoughts left un-thought

Just a day ago
All I wanted to do was nothing
And all I ever wanted was a slice
Of that beautiful reality

But I'm hungry for cake
I crave for a pie
I crave for Pi
I crave for transcendence

I have a choice to make
And another tomorrow
Maybe two more, the day
After that

But what if I sit here
And wait
Scared out of my wits
Of regret

Regret is scary
He's big, he's soul crushing
He cripples hope
By just existing

This too shall pass
This everlasting night
Shall turn warm,
Bright, with colours

And maybe then
I'll be happy again
And maybe then
I'll be warm again

I bumped into you the other day
I still think I truly love you
I thought the pain had gone away
But I guess for my heart that's not true

I have been with other guys since we've been apart
But none of them seem to be like you
We wanted the same things but then our river started to part
And sometimes a river stays sliced in two

Do you remember the tears left on my face?
Do you remember all the broken promises we made?
I try to hide it well behind this facade, certain I left no trace
But I guess everything has an end, even a masquerade

I don't know why I started to cry over you, is it maybe moving to Paris?
Or maybe I just have so much yet to discover about who you are
Maybe you're the brightest star, possibly my Polaris
All I know is now you are just a memoir

These mixed feelings seem to get the best of me
But I know apart is when we are best
You were a challenge that astonished me
I've overcome the urge to pass the test

To love is not the same as to be in love
That's a lesson we have all learned over time
I guess it's safe to say none of us were "in love" but more like for a moment we were each other's behove
At least we didn't leave it on a note people could find begrime

Lives end.


The twisted path of our lives end
We wander around this planet looking for something to mean our path leads somewhere purposeful when they don't we realise we had nothing to defend
I can do almost anything with my life but when it comes right down to it I haven't got the inclination to find myself hating what I have come to comprehend
The man that walks free from this world is the shadow that leaves us to shine in the stars and listens to every conversation that has been from the beginning to our natural end.

Are you?
yes, I always have.
How did you know?
I just did
So is it like this?
I don't know.
Ok...I understand.
Do you really?
Ye, it's just the opposite. It's the same really.
Just stop pretending you know everything.
I was just trying... to understand how.
I don't care that you don't.
I don't get it.
Exactly, you never will.

Blood shot eyes
Awake in flashback nightmares
Screaming in silence
Lost in guilt ridden violence
Everyday is a brutal regime
There's no distinguishing no changing
What I have done
Screaming victims is the war won?

A burning temper
A cold December
I try not to drink.
Realities torment I try not to think
Everytime their faces come back to me
I stammer when I talk, I just can't be
Screaming victim is the war won?

My family tries to support
My ravaged soul
I see the flames
They are burning out if control
In the distance a ray of light
Paralyzed by anxiety
I look to my family
Is the war won?

I am getting beaten
But I won't back down
I forgive myself
I won't back away
If there is a god
They'd forgive me I pray
I have let my war fade away...