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Ivan Mar 9
within my chest!
internal,
  eternal
  infernal
the blaze
  my head
is a daze
I see the pale rider with a b
  ag full of
  TERROR!
hopeless to defend I became
hypnotized by empty promises
  of eternity
so he embraced me with bonny arms
that led to his ****** fingers!
he savoured and kissed me
so so
  so very ****** passionately
yes!
death kissed me
  with  a ****** smile
it is PURE evil
  look in my
eyes and you'll see it's the truth!!
so, even as I die here so confused
I now know I was
born to be
abused
misused
so that he could
roam free and be amused
tethered my lifeline!
I laid defeated and the will to keep
filling
and emptying my lungs
had a flash of genius
and hung itself...
killing me with it
(thank you
so
so.  very.  so
much!)
but I am now wingless
  flightless
and without a war to at least have
died in dignity!  bas
tards!!!
my tired spirit now retires
in slumber a full epoch
Archer Feb 15
Like how you run your fingers through my hair and stare at me with that smile of yours
when you think I’m not looking,
like how you light up whenever you see me
and you always rush to try to find me
and get up in my space?
Like how you spend time with me,
how you stay over at my house and I stay at yours?
Like how you get worked up over video games, and how sometimes
I can’t tell if you have a crush on me or are just an a##hole.
Now I know,
you’re just
an
a##hole.
Autisma Feb 4
Drowned out by divas
It was comfort that left us unprepared for this
This being the circuital embibement of chores and books
A choice to unentangle the moth from the web
Leaves one with typical but still misunderstood disturbances
Dad is a peadophile
We had ***
And now they're naming me a newt
A wet creature, suited especially to specific environments
A sham executed from the musical tenemants is one thing
But a crammed into trailer park is just a shame.
what makes a butterfly float, when everyone else is drowning?
The eyeish eckelecktic rom capacity can be blown away
And the attitudes of specs can thwart their own terrain
But if a pen draws blood, there's not room left for anything
So tell me the joke, esplanade yourself beyond my reach
Coke yourself up, give a scream, patent this work as your own, cherish the tub thumping
Be a cherub though rather than an angel, excrete malignantly and door slam the foreign light.
But someone must decide if the light is foreign.
Open to interpretation
Reece Jan 25
The voice that’s rarely heard,
Not outspoken,
Or outgoing enough.
The one who watches the clock,
To see the seconds turn to minutes,
To hours, to days,
Before you know it a year’s gone by.

I have a few things to get off my chest,
Perhaps it would be best.

There are people whose voice is loud,
You can tell them out of the crowd.
Some commanding, others obnoxious,
Others are demanding, and some are boisterous.
I never understood the appeal.
But if one thing is clear,
It’s that they’re confident,
For better or worse,
I just hope they aren’t full of themselves.
As per most things,
Advantageous in moderation.
Too much noise can drive one insane.
But there are highlights too,
Most leaders tend to be loud,
And I think they should.

Then there are people like me,
Quiet, but not dead silent.
Some call us mysteries,
Others find an opportunity to batter someone,
Who they know won’t talk back.
The quiet ones can be seen as arrogant,
Some think we say we’re better in every way,
Far from the truth.
Most of the time when I’m quiet,
It’s because I have nothing to say.
Or I have but I don’t think it’s important.
Don’t understand,
How some say whatever crosses their minds.
Mine bounces off the walls,
Filled with dashing, flashing thoughts.
“Are they judging me?”
“Do they even care at all?”
“What are they thinking about?”
“Am I making a fool of myself?”
“Can I connect with anyone else?”
These thoughts and more,
Rattle on despite no encore.

Apathy’s a dangerous thing,
Not caring or feeling anything.
Sometimes that’s why I don’t speak.
Wandering,
In endless wondering…
Wanderlust,
But where to go?

While most, state their opinions aloud.
I don’t.
Why risk the chance of mockery,
If you don’t have to?
People can be cruel,
Crueler than they realize,
At the time.
I keep my opinions in my head,
Where they fit best.

Sometimes I wonder:
Do people think about what they say,
Before they say it?
Sometimes it feels like,
They just preach what’s on their mind,
Without a thought behind their eyes.
They want to be seen,
To shine,
They want to be heard,
In the Broadway spotlights.
And those two desires,
Trump mostly everything else,
And add fuel to their fire,
Causing them to burn even brighter.

I take my thoughts,
To the page,
Where it’s quiet,
And all my thoughts can flow freely,
Without any pesky blockages.
How freeing,
Yet, how fleeting.

I’ve said what I wanted to say.
Shouted as loud as I could,
Through the noisy maelstrom.
I hope you heard,
What this silent voice had,
Bouncing in his brain…
I'm so tired of being tired.
Just let me go to sleep, please.
I've been working
working
working
My whole ******* life,
And for what?
For some stupid praise?
A degree - the same as everyone else that didn't **** themselves over this and instead lived out their lives?

Don't you know,
I don't envision myself as anything in the future.
I get a little sad when I hear people talk about theirs, because I see that they're practically already there.
In their mind, their heart.
They've got that something, keeping me going.

What do I have?
Nothing.
I am nothing.
I don't dream,
Because I don't sleep.
And because I don't sleep,
I am tired.

I am tired.
I am so ******* tired.
And I'm too old to get tucked in by my mom with a bedtime story,
So here I am, writing bedtime poetry and biology notes.

(It all really doesn't matter in the end.)
Doing this in the middle of studying for a biology digestion test. Did you know that we can eat horizontally or upside down because of peristalsis, where muscle contractions in the esophagus contract and relax to get food boluses down?
Yeah, I don't give a **** either.
V3NUS Dec 2024
this country is severely ******

we elect a man who
makes empty promises
provides specifically for the white, cis, male, and privileged
gets people killed when he doesn't get his way
should be in prison
in general a bad person
all because most weren't ready to accept
a mixed woman
might be better than a white man

or the police
don't get me started on them
"tHeY'Re PrOTeCtINg ThE PeOPlE aS A wHoLE"
absolute *******
do you know the amount of black people have been killed?
because they were "a threat" right?
stepping out a car, sleeping in our beds, cooking our own food
incredibly threatening isn't it?

or jobs?
female employees getting paid as much as men multiple levels below them
blacks, asians, and Hispanics getting jobs they are way too good for
because we apparently will never be able to do the job we're QUALIFIED for
as good as a white man

and why is it such a big deal
if a boy loves a boy
if a girl loves a girl
if someone doesn't want to choose a gender
if someone doesn't like the gender they were born as
if someone loves girls and boys
if someone doesn't care who they love, as long as they're a good person
if someone doesn't love at all
they're living their own life
who they identify as doesn't affect you in the slightest

we aren't doing too good
it can't be just me who sees this right?
Kai Nov 2024
I'm sorry I don't want to go to school
I'm sorry that I'm not "cool"
School is the thing that destroys me
Home and family is the only thing that puts me at ease
Something easy to seize
I wish I could isolate myself
I wish it was on the shelf
So I can purchase it
So I don't have to listen to anyone's *******
It's tiring
Overwhelming
So why do you have the guts to call me "entitled" when I don't want to go to school anymore
School doesn't even feel secure anymore
Whenever I open the door
I don't wanna be outside no more
People are the reason why I have such low self-esteem
People base me off a certain theme
People seem to be more violent these days
More fights these days
More school shootings these days
Which makes me terrified
And scared
And I always feel like I'm being stared
Always being judged
At school
I push myself the hardest at school
To the point where it's cruel
Yet, my grades had gone downhill
Then gotten still

School makes me feel disconnected
More than I expected
It's just like a curse
It makes life worse
It makes me think that my life is just a simple dream
Disconnection takes it to the extreme
Everyday
In every way
I just want to sleep
Without a peep
To make this curse go away

I'm always stuck listening to someone
Whenever I don't want to be listening to anyone
That just wants to talk nonstop
They always think they're on top
Whenever it's the complete opposite
I'm being approximate
It's annoying
It's tiring
To the point where I don't want to go to school
It's not because I'm a fool
Just because of the violent and annoying people from school
Is the reason why I don't want to open my door
Anymore

I'm always stuck doing school work
While still doing my own work
From my house
While I'm scrolling on my computer with my mouse
Looking at patterns to crochet with
Crocheting myths
Just to sell
Well

School is the reason why I don't take care of myself
School is the reason why I don't want to take care of myself
I'm too tired by the end of the day
My brain is completely fried by the end of the day
I swear I'm not lazy and not overdramatic
It's just that everything is so problematic
Everything takes so much effort to do one thing
It just makes me tired of everything

I have to sacrifice everything for school
Sacrifice my own life for school
Sacrifice my own sanity for school
Sacrifice my own emotions for school
Sacrifice my own thoughts for school
Sacrificing my own energy for school

Even though I'm supposed to be living my biggest dreams
Not writing down rhyme schemes
Just for some poetry
I can make an ancestry tree
Instead of doing some work that will most likely not help me in the future

School is stupid and a dumb concept
It's something that my parents cannot accept
The teachers barely even teach anything
They just talk about everything
Yet they are the ones who complain that we don't know anything
Some students are really dumb
They act like they're still ******* their thumb
Like they are a toddler
A word fiddler
Yet some students
Are students
That want to learn
Yet teachers aren't letting them learn
Instead, they are teaching nonsense
Things that don't make sense
And are teaching poorly
And cruelly
They don't give the kids a chance
And they don't enhance
Them
They're giving us low scores while they're giving them
Answer sheets for everything
Which is mind numbing

I hope no more students endure this
But the younger ones just want to hiss
It doesn't seem to change anytime soon
I love being self-aware and I love school so much! (I'm being sarcastic) THIS TOOK ME A *WEEK* TO FINISH I'M GOING TO CRY. Anyways- I hope you enjoyed my VERY long rant 🫶❤️
Uzziah Ruffin Sep 2024
You accuse me of all the blame,
Ignoring your own mistakes,
Trying to belittle me with words,
"Don't burn the bridge that leads you home."

Once, it seemed you were on my side,
Until things went askew.
You urged forgiveness, yet blamed me
For how everything fell apart.

For 22 years, I held it all in,
My smiles strained and false around him.
I voiced discomfort, but you kept him close,
A room for him always next to mine.

You delight in tearing me down,
"He gets that from you," you said,
When my brother spoke of his pain.
Your love, I question deeply,
Unable to even change your mind
About something as simple as cutting grass.

I find more reasons to resist returning,
I was enslaved by your expectations,
Yet I found the strength to break free.
Returning now, I fear,
Would bind me once more in chains.
Context: my older "brother" molested me when I was a 3yo child. My mother knew about it and I was expected to bury it for years and years. Finally at (currently) 25 years old, I completely broke down, had a panic attack and had to go to the hospital over it. When I got back home, I was forced into a family meeting with him where he apologize and I was asked if I could forgive him. Which my response was "No". He left and after a few days, I get a text by my mother saying he's homeless thanks to me. I confronted her about the texted, and she told me she didn't want to talk to me and that she was *******. I ended up self harming and going to the hospital. When u came back, he was there and the door to my room was completely removed. I left that house and we only spoke once after one the phone. She told me before we got off the phone "Don't burn the bridge that leads back home".

Context for the brother part: he came home one day when he was little and apparently he was talking about self harm. When I went into the room to see what was going on, she told me that he gets that from me. That happened when I was 14yo.
neth jones Jun 2024
so..like what we discussed the other day
                                       'to feel so infect-able'
i mean, cool concept and all but                                            
               you said you get it   and-and that's how i feel
                                                          you know ; all of the time
... like my brain is open and unprotected                    
         floods of **** other guys say  or **** i read online
stuff doesn't even make sense
they're just chewing on a mouthful of teeth
                                                        and­ it imbeds
gets right in the jelly and sticks around  
and it has nothing to do with anything       
                 but  i'll spend the day with my mood crumpled                
about some nasty '*******' directors              
behaviour on a film set ... when ...you know
it's not even a film i'm interested in seeing
and-and there's so much **** right at our front door
     we could help with that                                         
 but.. it's this irrelevant stuff
                                                that's what i'm occupied with
am i just that vulnerable ?   i'm an adult..                                  
           i should function without this damage
... get back to me as soon as you can ;   i'm freaking man !…..
you know what ?                                                                ­        
        this is what's important        and this is why we talk                
friends .. in the real world .. you know  such as it is
...left mucking stale turns before dawning a birth
pleasing   as drawing in a vital breath or something...
...i just.. i just want it back
re-slee­ve me
i miss the world
why did it leave me behind ? remind me
i looked in on it and there's no **** hotel in here
no airport lounge / midnite swimming pool /          
                                 abandoned zoo / empty theatre
no hollow feeds of subway tunnels                          
no void on anything
where's my basic program ?                          
       not even a grid of human planted fir trees
                               or a giants causeway
   or some cellular honeycomb
                      or some mad carpet design
i lost the pattern tap
           i'm off the leash man
           it's all a mess
             a disarray
              organic chaos
                a foreign something
      that doesn't want me to connect
i want to live like i’m part of the solution
but   each day in struggle                                          
           it seems i'm increasingly an aspect of the problem
i need to be reigned in
        and reassigned a post   policed
police me        i croon for policing
                          i am untrustworthy
an emulsion of self deception          
            (what does that even mean ?)
         spinning turns in quick fix habits
i look at these hands
  and     if I could dream these hands
                 they’d be magicians of value
get back to me man ! i miss yupping with you
this is the important stuff
           
                                               ­             - message ends
neth jones Jun 2024
greedy to give                                                        
you’­re a cram    born of septic inflammation
                            you fist to govern gods will
gods will gods-will-god-swill-god-swill
gills pouching and punching   a gush of oxygen
and it's give-give-give (beat-beat-beat)
regorging from within
above all ; love
spunking out love-love-love (heat-heat-heat)
and  oh lord of the texture
all the children cupped   under the golden wing
measureless rush   of giving joy
and a returned rush of gratitude                                          
             ­                   and worship will surely be fellow
a flourish of life
lush to follow   the sporing warfares demise
(later  to perform it's own tidal demise)

                 - lapping
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