it was tuesday, the 19th of january

when a single glance to your eyes

made my lenses foggy and not deliberate

and with a single snap of  fingers,

i lost everything that i had



i will never look at tuesdays the same way again

To kickstart the day with only the memories of the night in my head
To hold only two corners of the cover and lay the bed
To watch the ***** morning sun mount the sky
To savor the sweet orange rays and sigh
To kiss goodbye knowing it is just the start
To have total peace at heart
To phone her while still at work to find out how she is
To do the job with dedication and ease
To drive quite fast enough at the end of the day
To find her keeping her anger towards my delay
Dammed up and quite unsuccessfully at bay
To peck her forehead and kiss her lips and say
"Hey bush baby, ****** sorry I'm late
And even if I can't fathom how you feel I regret "
To see her eye lids twitch in passion and forgiveness
Juxtaposing her with the twilight uniqueness
To sow the seeds of humor and make her smile
In relief like the king Fishers from Victoria and River Nile
To hold her hand and walk her to our car
Ours because she healed every wound and scar
To take her to the awesome shopping malls
Buy her super Teddys and furry dolls
To then drive her home passing by the outskirts
To look her in the eyes bit by bit, as I slowly drive
To have my heart and mind alive
And a home filled with bloomed flower gardens
To have a shoulder that shares my burdens
To share all chores with her, right from laundry to cooking
To paint the world in letters while she's looking
And her glazing like smile on a laptop and paper
To save her warmth and care less about no hater
To watch the sun get consumed by the ravenous dusk unlike the dawn
To hold hands and watch the Milky way twinkle pawn
To consume every little moment of life and serenity
To have my first born take on my soccer club's name Chelsea
And watch it grow to a simple life by the Nile or by the sea
To bask down the boulevard holding hands toward eternity
To ask for the miracle of lasting forever
From God, to always live two together
To retire after two decades of success
In hardwork and start to tap the soul for access
To inspiration and do the best of the best
Of her paintings and I,my poetry while we rest
To have our little cottage and vegetables cast by the sea
To ride wheels of the rest of our life together, you see
That's what I feel my future lady and I deserve
To watch butterflies, evading fear of death by a warm fire
Telling myths and sweet stories to little ones till one by one we retire
According to me, that's a life lived, that's a dream, that's love

It came to me as I walked out the door.

My heart, I probably forgot
on his doorstep.
Or in the pocket of his favourite sweatshirt,
or in the first strains of his voice,
singing the song of my heart,
for my heart.

What does it matter?
It's all just shards anyway.
Shards hurt.
They pierce your skin,
as they do mine.
But in me, they evoke a flood.
and in you,
a string broken,
and nought else.

It has been my sweetest downfall,
watching you tear at life.
Colliding with fire.
running headlong toward the plunge
Crashing with my walls,
beaten back by catastrophic emotion.
You sighed,
and walked
and watched.
All I had to do was break down,
and you'd be standing there.

The shards you did not pick up.
No.
The shards you swept away
under the languid carpet.
they stayed there,
blameless.
For it is the fall that caused the shards
and not the other way round.

"The shards will help you feel."
I said.
"No, the shards you can keep."
A sharp shake, 'no'
Maybe he does not want to remember
that perhaps a quiet word,
a secret smile
would have seen the shards intact where
glittering stones and fresh satin
could not.

What does it matter?
The silence isn't too loud.
The void isn't too full.
The cold isn't too harsh.
The tear isn't too sad.

What does it matter?
To you,
or
to the shards.