it was you and me until it wasn’t anymore--
i’m realizing that state borders are bigger than i thought they were,
that four seven ten hours is a longer drive than it used to be.
it was you and me until it started getting darker earlier.
i’m realizing how dark the sky is when light pollution blots out the stars,
when all i can see is the moon blindingly bright.
it’s the kind of condition that daedalus would’ve wished for,
because if icarus couldn’t see the stars then he wouldn’t have fallen.
i’m realizing how dark dorm rooms are
when there’s no one else there except the solid weight
of loneliness.
i either forget to fall asleep or nod off too early;
it’s not like i have anyone keeping track for me anymore.
i’m realizing how free i used to be, a car and a highway and time,
and i’m realizing how stranded i am now: i’m feeling the freefall
of finding that i’ve lost my feathered wax wings.
it was you and me until i stopped listening, and then it was
just you.
i’m still waiting to hit the water, with bated breath to feel the shatter.
it was you and me--
until it wasn’t anymore.
until there wasn’t any more.

When my heart hears, what for it longs
It would know, tho' I know not.
The words in which it yearns to hear
It would know, tho' I know not.
Ask it I do, so often when lone
Yet reveals it not it's long desire,
Tells me be still, some day you'll know.

When my heart feels, what for it longs
It would know, tho' I know not.
The sense in which it yearns to feel
It sure would know, tho' I know not.
Scent from your hair so near my face,
Yet heart tells be still, some day you'll know.

When my heart longs for what it longs
It sure does know, and I know too.
The searing heat of love's desire
It sure does know and so do I
Prisoner of hope, me, my heart calls,
Her words, her Scent, her feelings all,
Be still for, that day you'll know.

a smile, a look, a touch
is all that's needed for them to think
you belong with me
(you do)
but you are not mine
not in ways they presume
when they see us together
and the ever shrinking space between us

you are not mine in ways that are well trodden
of obligation, of possession, of labels

but you belong with me
in ways that matter
in the way we talk just to each other
in the congruency of our thought
in the importance we have for us
in laughter and sadness
in sickness and in health

they look at us and they presume
but they can never know
how deeply I belong to you

“You don’t know what it’s like
to be this empty,” he tells me
and that’s true, I don’t
but I know how it feels
to want to fill the space.

You stand kicking at your shadow
While I'm tripping on your heartbreak
You follow the stars with your eyes
While mine follow you.
Between us, I'm at a loss to choose
Which one is the fool.

(The sun is somewhat dimmed, as though I'm looking through a film.)

Losing myself in the crinkles of your eyes
As you smile carelessly into the camera
I remember
The way you scrunch your nose a little
The way your lips remind me of cherry blossoms

(It's a little cold here. The temperature is falling.)

Even as I lay in bed shivering and battling my fever
I remember the nights you wished you were here
The nights you work as a bartender, carelessly picking up girls over the counter
Do you serve them all poisoned holy grails?

(A hollow whirring. That's the sound I hear when my ears are blocked.)

Your favorite song plays in the background
I remember
When you said my voice was soothing
When you said I meant something
Ed Sheeran probably didn't mean it
But now I cringe with every note of his

(The brightness before me is blurring. Are those my tears or is it just the water?)

It was beautiful, really
But pink sakura petals do not bloom in this region
Even the colour pink is distressing to me
Since we matched in winter through spring

(You nicked my heartstrings. How do I mend it?)*

I find you in all the little things
Cigarettes, temples, business trips, huskies,
Harry Potter, Radler, Netherlands, salmon,
Macaroons, banana man, an 18 grand television

Round and round, the second hand runs on the face
The sun goes down and down, signing off the days
Round and round, you're running in my head
I go down and down till I reach the seabed

touch me gently through the screen,
grab me fiercely in my dreams,
take me up into your arms and
twirl me into a land of make believe
tell me tender love is true
in our tiny world just fit for two
timeless beauty,
how I weep, for we’re apart
till I find sleep
how I pine throughout the day
to commit to slumber and
hide away