there's a little room
with a round door
in the back of my heart
with a view of the ocean
it's here where i find myself
forgiving everyone and everything

the floorboards are worn smooth
from all my returning
i pass through corridors
where conversations
circle like trapped birds

but here, in this back room
there is only morning light
on bare wood, and a single chair
where i sit and watch waves
erase themselves over and over

sometimes i stay until sunset
when the water turns to copper
i know i'll leave again
dissolving into the sweet
clutter of being human,
my heart a crowded kitchen

but the door stays there
round like a full moon
waiting, and the waves
keep writing their one word
over and over: return

If it's true,
and you know it is,

sister, money don't grow,
on the tree of life, oh, no,

toil and pain and sorrow,
those grow,
on the tree of life, outside

these walls of mud faith bakes,
and builds heroic as formal evidence,
by grace alone, the blessing on America,

Oi, where Chickasaw whole life awaken dance
hey hey yahweh, same dance same sacred idea

We got StarLink in Chad,
oh, when can we read the heresies
personal savior level lucky prayer
online, free from press, amen.

All amenable Kilroy, was  here.
We pulledhisassoffhisthrone
with thunder words,
and other nonsense
We learned
to read, and write
shocking truths no slave should know,
money, has all kindsaansworn NDAs
there's the tie, the business
religion, re attaching
ligamental forces,
pending dooms
used
to make the peasants pay
for joy,
ceremony
of the veterans, paid
with joy,
ai, we die…
all we celebrate,
and all we worship Ares,
and Elon's trip to Mars, and Hermes,

tricking me
into telling a preacher story,
truer or not, it is too soon
to say, stories
sometimes hook up
with old characters,

brought
to mind using ceremonial reminders,
put on your respected veteran medal
of wit,
let this mind be
in you, this military mind, eh
strut your stuff, you patriotic consciousnesses.

A bubble
of belief engulfed the big parade,
the ompa blat left behind.

We blinked. They won.

I came away with an alienated mind,
to this day, I am happy to say,
that has made the difference,
I lived, while others just died.

I sometimes hope
in the midst of wakeful nights,
that the peace we all look for
is perhaps something like
a kind, quiet embrace
where I can close my eyes,
letting my mind go blank
and step into a world of solace.

I hope that it would feel
like the soft crackle of fire
on a harsh, winter night,
the warmth consoling the cold
I've felt for decades;

Or perhaps that it's the quiet hum
of a lullaby I once knew by heart,
and allows me to slip
into the blurred lines
between life and eternal rest.

The chilly breeze whispers against my skin,
As darkness descends, silence envelops within.
Ocean waves surrender to the moon's gentle pull,
Their soothing melody, my heart's lonely lull.

I wander, lost, from the world's prying eyes,
From scars that linger, like an open wound's sigh.
Yet, in this darkness, a glimmer of hope resides,
A beacon calling, guiding me to peaceful tides.

Halfway to solace, I pause, take a breath,
And let the night's tranquility envelop my depth.
One more step forward, into the unknown night,
Toward the promise of peace, where stars shine bright.

How can we blindspot traumas and tragedies; wars?
But when consumed with ourselves,
our daily ‘stories’ and chores
We take our eyes off the sacred,
on to the trivial, but today they’re on Yours.
We remember the lives lost in conflict;
Lives lost in efforts for peace.
We remember and our praise we do not restrict!
I tremble at the thought of 40+ wars
Currently raging around the world at large,
May peace and forgiveness conquer despite our many collective flaws.

For 14 years, I carried the burden of a relationship that, in its quiet cruelty, convinced me I was unworthy; a terrible husband, an inattentive father, a poor friend. Gaslit into self-doubt, I was made to believe that my flaws were responsible for the chaos. Yet, in truth, I was supporting a person who had every opportunity to stand on her own, but chose instead to lean into a narrative that kept her dependent and me in a cycle of sacrifice.

I was misled, tricked into doubting my loyalty as a friend, while I poured my best self into those I loved, calling them family. I was told I was failing as a father because I worked hard to provide, even though I always gave my daughter the fullness of my time and care, from reading bedtime stories to cooking meals and being present in the moments that truly mattered. Meanwhile, the person I shared my life with had next to no friends, no passions, no sense of fulfillment beyond the image she presented to the world.

The resentment I held onto was not born from singular events but from the accumulation of years spent sleeping on couches and floors, excluded from intimacy, and trapped in a performance of a marriage that lacked love. I poured time, money, and energy into preserving a façade that was never real. This false perception; of her, of us; was a thief that robbed me of my peace.

Letting go of this resentment does not mean I dismiss the past, but it does mean I reclaim the part of me that was buried beneath it. I must understand that control is often an illusion; the more I clung to the idea that I could change the outcome, the more I suffered. True freedom lies in accepting that life, and the people in it, are unpredictable. I cannot change who she was or how she treated me, but I can choose how I respond now.

Forgiveness, too, is not for her; it is a gift I give to myself. To hold onto anger, to nurture resentment, is to keep myself in chains long after the relationship has ended. I release that weight because my healing demands it, and my future deserves it.

As I look toward the future, I must embrace the present. The past, though painful, is no longer my prison; it is a foundation, a set of lessons that have fortified my resilience. My life now is a canvas I will fill with intention and authenticity, building upon the wisdom gained from the trials I’ve endured.

I have come to understand that letting go is not merely an act of forgetting, but a deliberate choice to free myself from the grip of the past, releasing the emotional weight that has bound me for too long. It requires an intimate confrontation with pain; not in the form of denial or suppression; but in a way that allows me to honor what has shaped me without letting it define the man I am becoming.

The art of letting go, then, is not about erasing what has been, but about stepping into what is to come; with grace, peace, and open arms.

—

In a marriage built on illusions,
I lost pieces of myself,
Fighting to fit into a mold
That never reflected my truth.

Each sacrifice, a silent echo,
A yearning for connection
In a world of empty gestures.

Years passed, buried in doubt,
While destroying my spirit.
Until I knew it was time to leave,
To reclaim the life that I deserve.

With every step away from that past,
I peeled back the layers of shame,
Finding strength in my vulnerability,
And a voice that had long been hushed.

Now, I walk a path that is my own,
Embracing the unknown with open arms,
Each day a chance to rebuild,
To honor the lessons learned,
And to celebrate the man I am destined to be.

No longer defined by what I lost,
I stand in the warmth of possibility,
With a heart ready to heal,
And a spirit renewed,
Ready to live fully,
In the truth of my own story.

— Sincerely, Boris

I’ve come to realize that the mind holds immense potential for healing, far more than we often acknowledge. Instead of searching for relief solely in external solutions, I’ve learned to turn inward, recognizing that the tools for managing pain, stress, and anxiety already exist within me. By consciously working with the mind and body, we can shift our experience of suffering and cultivate peace.

The breath is one of the most effective means of doing this. It serves as a direct link to the present, anchoring my awareness in the here and now. Through simple, controlled breathing, I can calm my nervous system and influence my subconscious mind. This process is not only about relaxation; it’s about retraining the mind to respond differently to stress and discomfort. With every mindful breath, I’ve gained a greater sense of control over my emotional and physical states.

Mindfulness is another critical practice. By observing my thoughts and emotions without immediately reacting to them, I’ve developed a new perspective on pain and stress. Rather than seeing these as threats to be resisted, I now view them as signals; indicators that something in me needs attention. Mindfulness allows me to approach these signals with curiosity and compassion, which can reduce their intensity and help me respond more thoughtfully.

In this process, meditation plays a key role. It gives me access to the deeper parts of my subconscious, where my past experiences and emotional patterns are stored. Through regular meditation, I’ve been able to reshape my responses to stress and pain, moving away from automatic reactions that increase suffering. Meditation has taught me that healing is a process of aligning the mind and body toward peace, not by force but through consistent, patient practice.

I no longer feel powerless in the face of external stressors. By focusing on my inner world; my thoughts, my breath, and my awareness; I’ve developed a sense of resilience that isn’t easily shaken by outside circumstances. Healing, I’ve learned, is an ongoing journey. Each day offers a new opportunity to practice these skills, to remind myself that while pain or anxiety may arise, I have the ability to transform how I experience them.

—

Each morning, I rise to greet the day,
Read words of wisdom, to light my way.
With visions clear, and actions aligned,
I center my soul, in peace I find.

Meditation whispers, “Be still, be strong,”
And in the silence, I belong.
Writing my truths, I set them free;
A life of growth, that belongs to me.

Afternoons slow, with a gentle breeze,
Books and thoughts, no need to please.
Turning off screens, I reclaim the hour,
In quiet moments, I find my power.

A podcast hums, a guiding sound,
New ideas grow, deep and profound.
As evening falls, I move and I breathe,
Walking the path where my heart is pleased.

With words once more, I let them flow,
A reflection of where I long to go.
In the stillness, I find my light,
And greet the peace that comes each night.

I promise to hold my routine with care,
To nourish my body, to breathe fresh air.
Move every day, let my muscles sing,
Phone set aside, to let nature ring.

Carry my camera, to capture the skies,
Saving each dollar, with mindful eyes.
Sober, present, embracing the new,
Writing forever, my heart’s truth in view.

In this journey, I grow and unfold,
A story of strength, resilience and bold.

— Sincerely, Boris

The day unfolds with a heart steeped in gratitude, stirred awake by morning meditation. The afternoon finds me beneath a willow's gentle sway, a book cradled in my hands, warmth rising from a mug beside me. As night whispers its arrival, my thoughts spill onto paper, paired with a quiet indulgence. Each moment carries the weight of intention, weaving a rhythm of mindfulness, stillness, and creativity. It’s a ritual that nourishes my spirit, cultivating inner peace, self discovery, and inspiration in its delicate balance.

–

Through meditation, we sit with what arises,
learning to stay present with our thoughts,
to breathe into the pain of our experiences.

No longer fleeing discomfort,
we meet our fears with open arms,
letting them speak, letting them go quietly.

The thoughts, the worries, the pain;
all given the mental space to exist,
but no longer bound by our need for control.

We hold them lightly,
and as we loosen our grip,
until they all begin to drift away.

In this stillness, our healing begins,
slow and unfolding,
a lifelong journey until we are reborn.

We embrace the unknown,
finding peace in the spaces in between;
holding on and letting go.

— Sincerely, Boris