I am a fool.
I am a loser.
I am a disgust.
I am a lover.

I am a fool
For you, my love.
You could be breaking my heart
Into a million dozen pieces
You could be in love
With a million other people
I would still be very much
In love with you
Because I am a fool
For you, my love.

I am a loser
In this game
of love.
I gave you everything I could
I did everything I should
But I still lost you
To him.
I am a loser
In this game
Of endless love.

I am a disgust
To the world
With the pathetic self I became
Since you left.
Since my arms were not your home
But your arms were mine.
Since my love was not your life
But will always be mine.
I am a disgust
To reality.

I am a lover
Who will always love you, sweetheart.
Yes everything ended.
Yes someone else has your heart now.
Yes you do not need me anymore.
Yes I know, we do not exist anymore.
But if you ever come back,
I will hug you tighter
I will hold you closer
I will kiss you harder
Than anybody else.
Even if its just for a while.

Wake up laughing
cackle into the kitchen
9:15 a.m. on Sunday
cop-outs couched in cups of coffee
          Sofa King Redundant
Lock the door but no one's coming
          I'm the LORD OF ALL I SURVEY!

Survey says the pilot's out
sink is full and
blinds are drawn.
It smells like sweat and silence
and a mostly empty fridge.

"Everything the light touches is yours!"
Outstanding power bill
          bank statements
               unreconciled
unwashed clothes
and unsent thank-you notes.
Shrink-wrapped books on how to cope.

Maybe I'll ask for a raise...

O how sods proclaim  .  .  .
Where there should be so much shame,    
  .  .  .  Mediocrity.

I find it funny how
just a few words
just a few actions
can break us all in ways
we never knew was possible
can change us all in ways we
never knew was possible

and yeah
people tell us over and over
again that it's going to get
better but when
when is it going to get better
and what if it never does
what if you constantly do things
to hurt yourself
what if you constantly get with that
one guy who you know will break you
sooner or later but you don't care
because you are willing to do anything
to feel anything but your
******* sadness
because you cant take it anymore
you can't spend another
night alone crying
another night asking yourself if it's all ******* worth it
if life is worth the hurt
and those nights
you've spent debating if
everything would just
stop hurting if you just took
your life away

just one shot to the head
just one small leap off a chair
and on to the rope
so simple
so easy

I find it funny how
humans are capable of
such cruelty
how humans can cause such discomfort
to another without giving a ****
how you're smiling while my
soul is rotting away

Cadaver wants fame,
Posts— poetasteries  . . .
  .  .  .  Never sees it's lame.

Gnat is mucky king!
Little lord thinks he matters,
  .  .  .  Buzzing above *****.

Pathetic are the mid-night thoughts
about your future love
your past heartbreaks
your poorly thought out hook-ups

Sad are the mid-night thoughts
about the loss of those important
what you could have achieved but never did
and maybe never will

Depressing are the mid-night thoughts
about what a burden you are to everyone
how you'd never hurt again if you weren't alive
that everything you do will never amount to anything

But, it's time for me to move past those emotions
on to something better
an emotion I've never truly felt
that only I can control
and that's the happy mid-night thoughts
about tomorrow and what I might achieve
who I could make smile
what pretty faces I may see