Destined to be silenced

When I come home you'll stop this

We are all being called

Some don't notice

I love you join me we can be together

Ashes to ashes nothing to nothing

Nothing is calling my name

Because I'm "special"

It’s those words that I’m afraid of the most
The ones you haven’t yet spoken
Latching onto me like the veins that run through me
Circulating through me again and again
******* both my time and emotions out of me
Sooner than I can process, one grows into a swarm
Making it impossible to resist the current
But once I seem to be drowned by the flood
Once I’m on my last few breaths
Everything drains
Left with not even a drop

Paranoia is electric green.
It sounds like the small hum of a 1976 refrigerator.
It tastes like somebody left a hair in your sandwich.
It smells like aged copper, dangling around your neck.
Paranoia feels like pins and needles right after standing up.

the faerie is unwell
irrationally suspicious of motives and voices
even poker games with his shadow
descend into  farce
wth accusations and malevolent glares

@journeyofdays

paranoia is fear
no, fear goes away
paranoia is worse than fear
paranoia is being curious and afraid
paranoia takes over your thoughts,
paranoia manipulates your thoughts and emotions,
turns them into something ugly;
something terrifying
not even you can comprehend it in your mind
not even you, can picture what you are afraid of
paranoia never dies.

as paranoia becomes a part of you,
you become constantly anxious
when you begin to overthink,
your heart stops
because you finally realized what you are afraid of.
you are afraid of your own thoughts.
you are afraid of yourself.

I'm tired
Of trying to
Fit into a box
Which has no category

To belong
Is where I want
To begin

Isolated
Trauma state identity
Who cares
As long
As your grinning

I can't even
Do that anymore
I feel there's
No one out there
That remembers
My name

When I want
To collide with
My words
And unite

This feeling
Of guilt
Strengthens
My desire

****** up
As it sounds
No one
Does care

So why are they
Still FOLLOWING me
Everywhere

Memorizing times and dates,
trying to get a jump on fate.
Good things come
to those who wait,
but that just isn't me.

The moon, a dagger, hangs over all.
I watch to make sure it won't fall and
walk away, my shadow tall
to see that it's still hanging.

In anxious sleep, symbols of blood
haunt my dreams, the coming flood
when I'll be left lost in the mud
and revising what I'd thought I'd known.

People often fear the nights,
That give them dreams

I feel a weight of the world
Upon my shoulders
My stomach churns
And there is no escape
I tell myself there is a light
At the end of this tunnel
There has to be
The nights aren’t getting
Anything shorter
The thoughts aren’t
Going away
But there’s no turning back now
On this long road out of hell