Heart is racing, skin on fire
Jittering buzzing pacing cussing
Hair is wild, eyes look crazy
Shaking crying mumbling breathing
Face is wet, chest is pounding
Screaming running hiding sobbing

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SPLAT!

Nobody ever comes
Nobody ever comes
Nobody
   Nobody

Ever
Nobody

I'm still
Or no
I'm shaking
But I'm always
That girl
That little girl
Crying
Alone
Always
Always
Alone
They never came
They could hear me
Nobody cared

I guess I thought
Or maybe felt
I healed
I was wrong
It was a lie
To disguise
The pain
The lonliness
The lack
The lack
Of joy
In my heart


I was torn
Torn apart
I hid the memories
Within my heart
I closed the doors
And forgot
Forgot the horrors
Forgot it all
Wasted on life
Wasted
Wasted
On forgetting

It comes rushing back
These days
The memories
The feelings
I am but a little girl
Little
And fragile
Little
And
Alone
   Alone
      Alone

A kraken walked
No
Burst
Through my life
Sending me in a spiral
Spiral
           Spiral
Larips
              Larips
    S p I r a l

Of memories
Pain
Loss
Lonliness
I can't come back from this
This
Shaking
Shaking
The earth might be quaking
I have so much to feel
I cannot heal
Everything is too real
Real
Real
No
Nothing is real
Nothing
Nothing
Everyone is bluffing
I cannot
I can
Not
Pretend.
I
Am
After all
Nobody's friend

I am alone
And crying
Alone
And
Crying
It's all come back to me
All come back
I'm alone
And nobody
Nobody
Ever comes

When you hear me
Hear me cry
Will you let me die
Or will you
Perhaps
Prove me wrong?

Please
Prove me wrong

Thoughts refusing to leave yesterday
Won't stay out of tomorrow
Aware of the price one might pay
For lingering in past sorrow
Or fearing a role one might play
In a future no one could know
Becoming oblivious to the passing of every present day
Standing at a crossroad like, "where'd today go?"

©2024

I'm almost most certainly about to break
It's only a matter of time but I hate the wait
Holding that familiar panic feeling I can't shake
Leading to a heated, one sided, debate
Pitting good faith against bad take
They're getting more alarming at an alarming rate
Basically arguing that everything's but what's fake is fake
Completely oblivious, a bad trait if you know what's at stake
Because BAM, in a flash, I awaken at my own wake
"Excuse me, there must be some kind of mistake"
But I must admit, the casket occupant is concrete proof I'm far too late

©2024

The remnants from every last past bunch
Of confrontation and confusion with such and such
Pile up till it becomes too much
I panic, then in a frantic desperation motion I reach out to clutch
At a drifting safety line I can no longer touch
In a rush I removed both legs to manufacturer a crutch
Sometimes it's hard to translate a hunch

©2024

Searching wildly
Mind and heart
Panics arrival forever untimely
Becoming flailing limbs in the dark
Desperately feeling for a way toward a way to put it mildly
Never finding more than a question mark
Tripping on everything I should have already put behind me
Blindly trying to look over everything said from the start
Only finding it's the same as before the start mark
I'm sorry to report
All I can find,
All I really have
Is another sorry sorry
One more weightless apology

©2024