A repeating line of patterns of something deeper then memory
It's the motion of waves of wonder of maybe something like pain
A wanting to lessen to soften to gently lay my head down
It's not what's happening now

A crack in my mirror, right in the centre
splits my image into a thousand pieces
versions of myself never quite realised
all that I am and all that I could be
each fragment a glimpse into a path not chosen
fingers reaching out to touch the glass
dipping into the reflection, a pool of possibility
if only I could crawl through the looking glass
or break on through to the other side
would I miss this place
am I happier there

I just feel so alone.
I just wish someone would care.
i just want to not feel so **** alone.

Saying sorry is the hardest word to say in the english language.
Saying sorry is a humbling experience.
Saying sorry takes courage.
Saying sorry requires your own feelings to take a back seat.
I hate the word sorry.
At least I hate saying it.
I want to erase it from my vocabulary.
I say it too much.
I tend to apologize when it’s not entirely my fault.
I usually say sorry when I want to “save” a relationship.
Or at least try to make it better.
And it’s not even romantic relationships.
It’s friendships, family, etc.
I felt like saying sorry would change things.
I felt like that maybe if they saw me put forth the effort to make it work then they would too.
I thought that if I said sorry that they would say sorry too.
I was wrong.
Every time I said sorry no one said it back.
I took responsibility for my actions,
why weren’t they taking responsibilities for theirs?
I know I was in the wrong,
but I wasn’t the ONLY one in the wrong.
Why am I always the one to take the blame?
I thought saying sorry was supposed to make me feel better.
Why do I feel worse?
I’m tired of being the only one who is sorry.
I want to live my life unapologetic.
From now on the only thing I’m sorry for is not being sorry.
Sorry not sorry.