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I saw her as a martyr,
a victim by my side—
helpless, I thought,
unable to pull us from his tides.

I excused it—
how could she raise five kids alone?
I gave her my compassion,
placed my trust on her throne.

But now that I’m older,
the fog starts to lift—
She wasn’t just passive,
she CHOSE not to shift.

She wasn’t just broken,
she wielded these cracks,
a villain in silence,
he just launched the attacks.
We teach women to suffer quietly then tell our children it's love
A sunrise that no one watches.
Unseen. Unappreciated. Neglected — it dispatches,
From the horizon, looking up at the sky,
Only to see the moon approaching by.
This poem reflects the quiet moments of beauty and hope that often go unnoticed — like a sunrise that no one watches.
Was it love or desperation?
I can't remember the distinction.  

When you're starved
each crumb feels like grace.

Each small affection
a fervent offering
to a broken beggar.  

But at this point,  
I'll take what little
I can get.
time, the great unraveller,  
unwinding things into  
eternity with heartless determination.  
I have seen it lay rust along  
affections and arteries so  
that neither may flow or pump,  
but i always thought us, or  
hoped us, more rare  

that the constellations hung in your eyes  
would never dim for me,  
but guide me as they always had  
to home  
to you  
to us.  

perhaps you never dimmed  
only the constant erosion by minutes and hours  
chipped away my veneer, and the truth  
of me has made mutiny of your affections.  

when did I become someone you sleep beside  
and not with?  
the inches between us stretched out  
like country roads in winter, belying our beginning.  
my fingertips and your skin thick as thieves  
adventuring over the lines of your horizon  
each curve and mound and crevice  
the hot breath of exploration panting on our lips  

I can only fabricate excuses for so long,  
brushing off your brush offs,  
the turned shoulder,  
the recoil of my hand in the small of your back,  
the betraying hesitancy in your lips that  
wounds me like an unpracticed lover.  
when did you exchange your desire  
for obligations, wicked and sour?  

you blame it on chemistry  
hormones and pheromones  
molecules and valence bonds  
breaking apart our marital-structure.  
so I curse science and pray for alchemy  

I'm tired of sleeping  
In bed with you  
alone
CallMeVenus May 15
Honey its been a while but i know you exist between heartbeats — not quite joy not quite grief, just the long inhale before either arrives.
you lived in a house where silence carved the hallways out of not being chosen so i know that you wear sound like an armour,
for when the room goes quiet the ghosts start speaking in full sentances and you are left with no language to bury them.
you answer messages in your head, smile at texts you never send and mourn connections like you've buried them with your own hands — even tho they are still alive
just not with you.
you wage a war between
reach out
and
stay safe.
between
i miss you
and
don't look at me.
you stand still.
mid-sentance
mid-dream
mid-you.




your house is a mess- your head is worse
wondering if this is healing or you are just getting really good at pretending so you bolt the doors
and you don't dare let anyone come in.
your mother used to say that the cruelest is the hour when you must beg the stars to remember your name — you'd then say
that the pain is a fruit, bitten too soon
and yet so sweet, so knowing.
because you know you must remember everything
and overcome it.
for if you don’t overcome it, you will always be the child whose soul never grew, the woman who kept apologizing for needing too little, and loving too much.

Long are overdue the deeds you owe to yourself.

-V
Mariah May 11
Please, please, please
Help me get through today with ease
As a child
With a mother
Who thought me a disease
I hope she gets better.
Mariah Apr 15
I want you to know
Why I don't call home

I wish I could express
But you'd rather I digest

You'll stop me every time
From saying what's on my mind

The worst part of that
You're happy with the fact

"No need to explain,
Just eat this cellophane!"

The silence on my end
The concert you regularly attend

The sweet sound of gone
Born from the shame you brought on

On purpose, by choice
You hate to hear my voice

You reject the things I say
You rather I decay  

Didn't matter if they were true
When your perceptions skewed

No love lost
Nothing grows in frost

"Faster, faster, faster!
Die! Die! Die!  

Shut up, shut up, shut up!
Don't look me in the eye!"

You suffocated me in time
Just so you could live your life
Without remaining in mine
Hoping
This time I won't survive.
Mariah Apr 15
Can't you see me?
Can't you see?
How its supposed to be
You had to teach me

A burdensome chore
You chose to ignore
So you left me alone
Wondering why I did so on my own

Now I know nothing
I'm always running
Under the pressure
I'm crumbling

The unformed person
Hiding behind the curtain
Ashamed of being the burden

Now you can't see-
but when you think of me
I'm gone and you're still  
Hating me  

How I'm ought to be
It isn't clear to me
And I'm sure you'd happily agree
I am lost at sea

You were so headstrong
About knowing all along
I was unworthy and ugly, loud and wrong
Now I suffer
Nowhere to belong


You can no longer tell me to go
This is my home
Piece by piece, blood and bone
I built it on my own  

You know of my unbearable pain
Trying to live life your way
And you know I couldn't stay
When you were the one sending me away

I don't want to grow old
With my life feeling cold
All thrown away
Feeling myself decay

Its not my responsibility
Your incivility
Never a child to you,
But a void of hostility

Your high horse far away from me
And I know,
that even though
I can't see you looking down
It is a certainty

Creative were your reasons
To deny the diseases
That plagued our house of stalled seasons
So look away, so you don't need to believe in
The winter that we lived in

Deny, deny, deny
The distance between you and I
Came from you, and your willingness to
Misidentify
"This child is not mine,
It Chooses to defy,
There is Rot inside."
And I can never be satisfied
With your answers when I ask why

"You, you, you-
You chose to do-
Everything bad that happened to you."

How could I
When I was the child in knots
And you were the tie

If I am a Bad Egg-
and I am Rotten -
Then you were the Broken,
Beaten Down fridge that I was in
For my mother.
I never wished it of you, but I will die someday, just like you want me to.
And maybe then, you could finally be proud.
Or at least, you could finally stop haunting me.
Aaron Beedle Apr 12
You'll love me as long as I say
the things you want me to say.
And if I don't tell you you're lovely,
your love seems to fade away.

But you'll love me if I know the way,
the way that I've learnt to convey,
to speak in the way that you taught me,
so your love isn't taken away.

And it's making me feel quite lonely,
all these words that you're making me say.
I don't even think that you'd know me,
if we spoke when you couldn't see my face.
This one is a memory.
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