I miss the way we used to sit
How you'd fall asleep on my shoulder cold

How you quietly would look at me, and I at you, because we'd know

I miss the everyday secret things
Which we used to do and could've been

With a oneness and once unified breath
I miss these more than anything

Your taste is in my mouth
Burning the back of my throat
Like all the liquor I've been drowning myself in
We both didn't want each other

Each morning waking up with you was another headache
I would would spend the morning in the kitchen
Closer to the bottles
Further from you

It was all perfect at first
Two broken hearts finding something new
But here I am now
No longer broken, but annihilated

We connected so fast
But your connection was toxic
You needed me to save you
But you wanted me carry you

Instead of taking all your weight
I talked you through my heart
That ******* maze of misery
Showing you how to navigate the pain, the lonliness

You wanted validation for your mistakes
I kept hanging around
Wanting to see the improvement
It never showed

There was never a chance for us to blossom
Because my blossom already happened
And my roots were ripped out
You just finally put my in the trash

Now I can see what all this was
My attempts to reclaim some lost love
You were never right for me
I was never right for you

All that time was a waste
Nothing changed
I'm still drinking my heart into a darker hole
Watching blackness take my mind

Waiting for someone
Waiting for my heart to call me back
To the sandy shores of my memory
Where waves of emotion hit me

Each wave reminding me of a better time
This was only year one in a new place
Cheers to a new year with a little less suffering
And a little more love