They said these moments were fleeting.
The nights that seemed endless are already in the rear view. Heavy lids and sandbag limbs we made it through the days on fumes of caffeine and never ending love for you.
Lately, the middle of the night wake up calls have grown less frequent and I don’t mind them as much anymore, even in the haze of my exhaustion, candle burning at all ends, I relish the moments your tiny hands search my face for comfort, tugging at my hair like your favorite blanket as you slip back into the deepest sleep.
Mumbling incoherently until your sweet voice becomes steady breathing and you snuggle into me.
I know that someday I won’t be able to hold you like this anymore, I hope that you’ll still need me, but the reasons won’t be as simple, and my exhaustion will come from worry about a million other things you need and won’t voice.
That is the future, and I will handle it when it comes, but for now, I will absorb every second of this vulnerable nighttime ritual and try not to get frustrated by my lack of sleep and ever changing routine that is on your schedule.
I will capture every second I can on photo and video so that every so often, when I am ready to break, I can go back and reflect on how quickly this sand is passing through the glass, breathe deep and just enjoy this time with you.
