when i skipped in the street
and you blinked your flashlight fifteen times at me
my high beams bursting through the windows of the neighbors,
i started to feel like she wrote those songs for us
and for our teenage recklessness.
can you teach me how to stay,
how to sit still and just love
with no shame and no repercussions?
because how are you so close in my rearview mirror
and then so much farther than you appear?
i would’ve cranked the heater, the same for you
the same simple cares
that you bestowed on
someone as wretched as me.
i would’ve called you my favorite person,
denying your insecurities and making them seem insignificant,
just as you had.
i would’ve laid in your lap retrieving my phone
as we laugh with our entire stomachs
and your friend says there must be something between us;
how does that make you feel?
i would’ve said it was finally time to go if i saw you sleeping,
almost too tired to drive home.
i would’ve asked you to drive safely for fear of deer around,
the same as you had.
i would’ve invited you to my cracking house,
just as you did,
answering the doorbell and smiling,
“you can take your shoes off”
“i love you as you are”
so…i feel so much constantly. writing gives me such a cathartic release and i am so glad i get to share my poetry, even if people don’t read it, maybe they will someday. i am confused about a situation currently and writing helps me breathe. i stayed at my friend’s house from 6-1 a.m. and i’ve never felt more free. i felt like a teenager and i’ve been listening to melodrama by lorde and being inspired by it and feeling it all. it’s so strange, i never thought i would ever feel this way. about all of this. about life. about you.
started yesterday
published: 5/17/24
