when the day begins i taste salt
dreams turned into nightmares
can't tell between reality and sleep
at this point it's hard to care

misery is my loyal companion but
there's worry it's all in my mind
to feel all this but chaotic and wrong
don't want to accept that maybe i'm fine

saying i'm okay doesn't help
cause and effect can't be traced
so many variables of what could be bad
my own self is hard to face

the girl in the mirror is me but not
i barely recognize details
what if this is all my fault
how did i become so frail

I used to write about love
But it feels like we let the magic die
Because all you do is apologize
And all I do is cry
Nevermind we live our lives in fear
Of the thoughts inside our heads
We hold on to love so near
With a quick peck before bed.
Where did we go wrong, my love?
Why did we let it go?
All I ever imagined for us
Was love that would endlessly grow.
But now I'm awake and you are not
Because I cannot quiet the fears
That the love you once had for me
Is gone before we reach one year.
You'll read this and tell me I'm wrong
And maybe you'll be a little right
But if I'm all wrong
Then tell me
Why is it we always fight?
You know I'm not good for you
You say you're not good for me
And no matter how hard the other fights
We are both inclined to disagree
Walls we let each other tear down
We have now built back stronger
I just cant see how you want to stick around
I'll be amazed if you stay any longer.
My love for you will never cease
But I understand if you want to leave
Because being with me is never easy
And I've been told love should be a breeze.
I do not know how I'll go on
But I know I'll find a way
Because if you leave me for a better love
I'll know you're happy at the end of the day.

You are a question, a puzzle, a riddle.

I have subsumed you in every thought but I don't know how this happened. I let you consumed me but I have no regrets. You gave me a different blend of emotions and its a feeling I simply can't forget.

There is part of you that is incomplete and I can see the missing piece.

You are still unsolved. Locked up in your own world. I want you to give me your key. I want show you what I can see. A world of just you and me.

I don't know why I'm thinking about all this. These are the ideas I can't dismiss. I don't know if its wrong to have feeling for someone this strong.  I want you to see the real me but I've started to be more cautious of the things I do. I constantly think about what I am to you.

I can't grasp your essence. You are complex. You make me lose all commonsense. I've already asked those around but none of them have been as curious as me. I fear to answer you directly because people might see what  I want us to be.

Well, not really. I don't fear us. I shouldn't care what people think. I just want to be the fragment that fills her absence but I fear the chance that I won't be a piece that matters.

But, I still hope I might be your answer.

Maybe
if I was prettier
or skinnier
or more of something
maybe
if I was less loud
or less dark
or less something
maybe then
you would want me