As I slip a drop under my tongue
The floor beneath me starts to melt
Like a painting left in the rain
My existence starts to fade
And panic starts to set in
As my grip on reality loosens

I see only darkness for a time
And left with only my dark deep thoughts
As I try claw my way back to consciousness
I sink deeper into psychosis

Until my vision is regained
And am reborn into a world
Completely new and stunning
Static shapes now twist and turn
Around the fragility that is my ever-changing perception

Words are thought but cannot be spoken
Like an imperceptible creature holding your tongue
Your inner voice has the power here
Dare not feed it with negativity
Less you learn the true nature of the sorrow
You can inflict upon yourself

-R

God ****** God ****** God ****** depression is  a *****, like why TF this **** gotta sneak up on me like this, **** I'mma go to bed and not sleep I guess I'll lay with my lonesome till 3am and listen to my heart beat while I think ignoring the voices in my head telling me things like i’d be better off dead like as if despite  the fact I wish my ticker would stop ticking
But it won't, I wish I could c u t my own heart out with a knife but that's sounds boring so I dont I wish a niger could cry a nigers burdens away  but a.nigg*rs tear ducts are dry so I guess ill roll a joint and burn it away and then when I run out I'll break out the razors is in a slice in a way that will make the sane wonder how but what the **** is it to you who are you to say that I'm important to you who are you to say that I'm a lovely human being just ****.off please, i didn't ask your assistance no offense just leave me to my being because I disagree I wish you would ask me if I thought that I was as important I wish you'd ask me if I thought I was lovely cuz I'd say no I'm autistic trash and to me that **** is ugly cuz despite what I can do I can't do most of it ******* I thought I was a man, well I guess I was born with most of it I just want to ******* die no letter no notes no reasons why cuz I told you when I told you then I told you again did you think that was a lie  you must have presumed that it's a cry for attention are you out of your ******* mind don't worry its okay to make the jokes it doesn't hurt at all it's okay to mock me it doesn't phase a bit,  but I guess you will you  learn to shut your ******* mouth when you find my body its wrist slit  but I guess it's kind of my fault because I smile every time they ask me if I'm fine god ****** god ****** god ****** Depression is a ***** like why the **** this **** got to sneak up on me like this

Another sunbeam, lost along the way
Remembering, long gone summer days
When the world was calmer
Everything sounded clear
But now your words keep falling
Ever further from my ears

Another sunbeam, lost along the way
lost to the elements, that pull like tidal waves
eroding further
Now the chaos reigns
Lost amid its shadow
Til its slowly pulled away

Do you think you'll look back at this moment in the same way
Since its not so disimilar
Since it sparked that particular memory

No

I think we had something-
It wasn't love, but it wasn't
Nothing either;

Perhaps it was just
Stolen glances and
Laughing together

Perhaps it was feeling
Giddy at touching knees
And having nicknames

I know it wasn't love-
But in another time,
In another place,

It could've been.