Lesson One: Circles are never ending

Life is defined by cycles.
Whether i am in a bad or a good cycle,
I am confined to a shape.
I can choose to change direction,
but I have restrictions.
We are living patterns.

Lesson Two: Not every equation will need it's solution to be YOU.

One day you will be caught up in a love triangle. Your answer is him;
His solution is her.
Try as you might, you cannot subtract whenever you please.

Lesson Three: Always write in pencil

Permanence is scary.
I've been way to confident in whom I give my heart to, collecting pages in my notebook that i have to rip out and throw away.
I've made one too many mistakes made of ink so lately,
I've been writing in pencil.

I drew a circle in the sky,
traced the way between
knowingness and truth,
visited uncertainty and full fledged fear,
and somewhere along that way
I found you.
I stopped and stared as I'm prone to do,
and we held hands for mere minutes
until our fingers lost grip
and I lost a bet with Cupid.

I drew a circle on my chest
and I let all the world come near to see.

The probability of me being improbable is highly definite.
The statistical occurrence of randomness
Is proportional to the flow of consciousness.

I wish I could calculate
The number of times you wanted to kiss me
Subtract the number of times you actually did
Add the number of nights I spent awake and thinking of you
Multiply it by the number of nights you spent thinking of me
Divide it all by the number of encounters we've had with other men/women since you walked into my life
That would give me our compatibility, the amount I should care about where this (non-existant) relationship goes

Is it a coincidence?
I think not.
It's not just one of those serendipitous happenings where both times we meet are budding from me ******* up.

I may be staring intently at something that isn't there
but I believe it's a sign just as much as the one you always ignored at the intersection.

Me ******* up equals me seeing you.

It's not a perfect formula but I'm still working out the kinks
God, you know how I love math
I'm probably just grasping at something and anything that means I can be with you for just one more instant

I know you see what I'm doing here
And I thank you for playing along
Do whatever you will
Just don't correct me when I'm wrong

I'm trying to **** up

What if i could see my thoughts
would they chase each other around
a chaotic melange of colours
crashing and swirling through the  mists
an ever moving cacophony of intelligence

would they be stately progresses of comprehension
an elegant forest with deep thirsting roots
seeking knowledge as sustenance
branching of mind expanding to catch the wind
of thoughts rushing by

could they be complex mathematical equations
sharp and precise, proven to absolute
no doubt, no grey surrounding the theorem
the purity and truth of numbers
running the reality that is me

a mix, i think, of all
a chaotic mix of order
an ordered mix of chaos
that makes my thoughts mine.