i believe you:
you love me

i know you're  
by my side

our lives were
pieces of puzzles

until we came.
together.

we got together
we came together

during a dance
during the dancing
you remember?

on a friday
in august
between the lights of shadows
between the shadows of the sun
glitz between our lipps

connected by scent and greed

mouths and ammunition
ammunition and mouths

on a friday in august i
believed you were with me

i believed you

How strange this is to me
A feeling that is completely new
I don't know how to exist, now, without you.
This odd intuition, knowing that I'm incomplete
I'm "not all there"--
I'm not well.

They say I'm psychotic
Well, hell, maybe I'm just bitter
I'm a cynic, I'll admit it
But am I psychotic?
How would I tell?
I don't always feel crazy
Sometimes just a little
Maybe if you show up with a new hickey on your neck, when I’ve been nowhere near you

Maybe I’m insane
I think I might be psychotic
I’m letting my lips touch another that isn’t you
He doesn’t have any red flags, he’s perfectly fine
But despite all of his positive traits,
He isn’t you.
Maybe I really am psychotic
Letting myself use this boy when my thoughts are on you
He’s genuine and kind, but unlike you, he can’t read my mind.

I feel genuinely psychotic
I can’t get you out of my mind
Others whisper “obsession” but it’s not even close
I keep my distance like you asked, I’m not a fool.
I hate what you do to me, and I hate what I do to him
I type sweet nothings, with a few dark things in between
Blood in the ledger, will it ever come clean?

I think I really am psychotic, trying to give myself to him when I know I cannot
Despite how many times I’ve been wronged by others, the only thing I want is you.
He doesn’t deserve this, it’s so ******* dumb
I’m using him and it’s making me numb
I should just tell him I’m done
But I don’t know if I want to be alone.
The worst is that I do, but I don’t.
I wish I didn’t have to deal with the doubt when he’s not around, because as soon as he isn’t, all I can see is you.

When I’m with him, it’s great
We click pretty easily
He’s a little naive, but he’s young and has a big heart
Yet I feel so psychotic
He’s so sweet and asks along the way
Why does it feel so psychotic?
I coo and say I’m having the time of my life
I hate that in my head, I feel like I’m just spewing lies.
Because, after all, it’s you that I think of late at night.
So, call me psychotic for wanting what I can’t have.
**** me for being a liar,
Hurt me and atone my sins,
Crucify me and bleed me dry—
But don’t once say that I never loved you.
You were the only one I did.

I await
winter's wind
whisking me
from
the vice,
called your love

Sometimes it's as if
your name
never broke my tongue.
Other times, I sit
and stare
upon my splintered mouth.

Does the kept dog howl at the moon,
or does the stray?
I am astray from you,
and my moon is bluegreen and shines like forgiveness when you smile.
The vagrant hound remembers when he was a wolf;
I remember when I wasn’t.
Like him, I eat and sleep and ****
beneath even my own notice. Like him,
I remember every night of comfort and
every kick, and am confused when I find both in the same doorway.
I wasn’t a cur until you called me one – does that count?
When the rains come, I think of your
soft golden warmth, these mongrel legs start to pull me back – don’t
let me in unless you mean to keep me – and my howl is
sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry and I
don’t know which of us I hate.

You change, I'll change.
You say you love me, I say I love you.
You smile, I'll smile.
You break my heart, I'll never forget.
you leave me, I'll wait till you come back.
You're my addiction, I'll be obsessed.
Stay with me forever, or I may never rest.