There is a boy,
who writes love poems
about the girl,
with skin as
white as *snow.

I've written love stories for strangers in the street,
Sang sonnets for puppy love crushes,
And sketched the delicate details of lovers I've only met in dreams.
Yet somehow, I cannot seem to muster the strength
It takes to write a single line of text for you.
The melody to our story escapes my memory,
It almost seems too painful to imagine how your face wrinkled in a smile.
Your name rings a hundred times over in my mind,
I can feel it's claws deep in my chest
Crawling up my throat, begging to be said aloud.
As your ghost walks by my side,
Offering a transparent shoulder to rest my head against
I immediately become lost in your absent touch.

Unbeknownst to me,
I made even the most vivid of my almost-love stories
A distant shadow of memories clouded with delusion.  
Rather than confront the truth of our incompatibility
I hide between crowds in the street and the indents of building entryways,
Afraid your eyes will meet my painted on smile
And decide, in an instant, to look the other way.
As if I'm merely a passing image, instead of an old half that didn't quite fit.
As if you didn't know me at all, like perhaps you wish you never did.

I've composed symphonies in the fleeting names of thousands,
Erected statues for flirtatious, one minute interactions,
And created masterpieces for those who don't remember my name.
Yet the thought of putting you into art seems to crack my soul
And leave the contents spilling out with no one to return them.
To consciously put in order the tornado of a romance we shared
Would be to admit it actually meant something to me-
And that it still does, somehow, have a hold of my mind.
But that would also be to admit that you belong with all the others,
Which you so clearly stand apart from.
To make such art would betray everything I ever felt for you.

For you, every novel will go unwritten.
My canvas filled with landscapes and still lifes,
I'll paint every face blank with your shadow.
Love songs and beautiful melodies remain only for ten digit number exchanges
That die as quickly as they start.  
Every word I write about the stranger from the coffee shop,
Or the chance encounter while buying groceries
Will be dripping with your memories,
How you glanced long and touched soft.
Slowly I'll forget how your voice felt on my skin
And the way my body intertwined with yours at night.
Never again will your image hover over my head and drown me in my sleep.
Everyday I walk without your ghost in the back of my mind
Will be your symphonic, poetically sculpted masterpiece.

I would always think of you as my first reason to keep my life worthwhile; my first reason to live and not just survive. You have all my firsts, hopefully to be my last.

I would always remember how the stars would shine for you, seeing and feeling every inch of your skin glows underneath the blue light moon,
How the night sky shines and rise for you. I knew that when I look deep into your eyes, I knew you’re the one.

I would always remember how fate and destiny lead us here
That every mistake and misleading decision I made lead me right into your arms
Each coincidences are not plain luck and would often happen.
It was a one in a million experience and yet was still meant for it to happen.

I would always remember how we first sat and talked, with our hearts full of passion and tranquility, that neither of us never wanted to stand up and leave on that coffee table we were sitting in
I knew from the very start that you will be the one.
You understood all my thoughts in a blink of an eye back then, our thoughts clicked in just a jiff and I think it’s a beautiful thing for me.

I would often think of the future with you. That one day I’ll wake up next to you, morning sun rays hitting our morning faces.
With our tangled feet underneath the tangled sheets
We’ll wander with our minds, never wanting to get out of bed and do our errands for that day.

You never fail to seize my mind, and you know that.
You never fail to bring out the best in me and pull out the worst.
You were my hope when in times of doubt and darkness, you are my star.
You taught me to sail far across my comfort zones and to ride back on each big waves I will encounter.
Through the rigged battles that we have, yet I still don’t know when to come, you just sat there with me, telling me not to worry a single bit.

I would always think of you as my first reason to keep my life worthwhile; my first reason to live and not just survive. You have all my firsts, hopefully to be my last.