Words were worthless when our whimsical wishes got vanquished by distance, draining dreams of us together. Darling! We didn't dare draw an inch closer. Catastrophe came, crushing us to the core..covid! Covid! Consistent callous company for months on and on flying far in fantasy, fingers flailing and fumbling for a faint trace of reality in which you were absent, folly! The agony and ache in every atom ate away at me as acid on iron. Ah! La! Love again, loses my lavish language, leaving lips ludicrous, lying, loquacious and the tongue tied, terrified to tell the truth..Darling! Dare me to delude you for I am desperate to devour you in this dream; Delusion! Delusion! Bare bitter bold brutality crushing the dream, crashing hard in our core..covid! covid! Dear! despite it all, don't doubt the divine dream, don't doubt that I love..

Oh so lovely
To be like the sky
An endless view
Of the Red Flower

And with no subtle look
Or visible sign
You are a truest
Red Flower

A signal or call
For my sky
And the garden
That has yet to replace
My Red Flower

love letters
piling up in my brain
doodled little hearts
making a chain
staring at you
pretty pink lips
soft to the touch
at my fingertips
hands running through
silky soft hair
pretty eyes sparkle
so do mine when you're there
a pink envelope
filled with pretty words
sweet velvety memories
so very gently blurred
writing love letters
wearing big sweaters
thinking
of you

Black,

I’ve not thought of you as merely a colour.
I’ve thought of you as absence, lack of, without…
You’re not final, like I’ve come to see, you’re not definite,
Already determined.
Absent, a picture that is yet to be completed, defined
in normalcy accepted by majority.
My favourite. I can never say it clearly how I look at you.

To me, you have never meant dark. You always meant space
to be filled by those deserving, those with colour bright enough to imprint
on you and leave a mark. Spot enough, strong enough its not swallowed by
the entity you embark.
You aren’t but might be, an attractive illusion that’s always
invited me to take a step further, embrace my beginning.

A strong statement is what you are, being a blank that’s to be filled with
memories capable of extinguishing you, yet strong in identity, capable of
absorbing any colours coming near you to remain the same without any
blemishes, any marks that might indicate memories came and went
light enough to leave a mark of their own.

There is no wrong match for you as I’ve come to know, it’s a matter of
which cannot be overwhelmed by what you are, which can take your
nature and maintain theirs at the same time, which can compliment
you impeccably, you shine and become a beauty no one could have
anticipated.

You’re like no other, in saying so, you are what I am called
Black.

Dear Aaron,
You will not see this
But this is a message for you
And also a reminder to myself of your very existence.

I was a waitress
And you were a customer
To be more specific,
You were one of the teams we sponsored.

And yet, out of the guys there
You were the one that caught my eye
You weren't that goodlooking
There were better guys in the team
And yet,
I caught feelings the moment i saw you
You had that geeky nerdy look
You were really tall and weird
Something about you made me fell for you

I tried to approach you,
In any way possible.
I tried to take your order everytime
Serve your drinks, your food.
I wanted to get close to you
And when i did,
I was attracted to you even more.
You had that blue eyes
And cute smile
The kind that makes me fall for you.
Everytime i see you,
My mood just lighten up
You instantly make me happy
Without even trying
I guess just the sight of you cheers me up.
I'll be honest, I've always laid my eyes on you
Everytime i could
From a far,
I would stare at you
That was how obsessed i was with you

So i shoot my shot, took the risk
And I asked for your instagram
You gave it to me
I was really happy.
you were the first one to text me
It made me happy for a long time
And the first thing you said was,
You find me beautiful with my hair down.
It made me genuinely happy that you noticed me too

You knew i had feelings for you
I guess it was that obvious
And you told me that you werent looking for a relationship
And that you just wanted to have fun and meet different girls
it made me sad, but happy at the same time that you were honest with your intentions
But it was too late, i already caught feelings
So I didn't mind if you hurt me
I already like you
And i wanted to know you more
So i let it be

You didnt want me to catch feelings but wanted to make me happy
So you asked me out on a date, just one.
We went to the gardens
It was a beautiful view
But you were the greatest view i had
I was sad that it was only going to be just one date
But i wanted to make the most out of it
We went to my favourite pizza bar afterwards
We talked
And you ate a lot.

We went from one date, to a few.
From going to the beach
To drinking together
To going to the cinemas
To ice cream dates
All of those times i spent with you
Was a memorable one

We used to have video calls late at night whenever i end work early
Just talking
Just staring at each other
It made me really happy
Or how you'd randomly visit me at work
Saying you were craving for shepherds pie
When you knew i ended work early that day
So you could get ice cream with me afterwards

It's amazing how you knew me so well
When i wasn't okay,
You'd offer to meet for drinks
Or let me sleep over at your place
But you'd always call me when you know im not okay
Because you knew, looking at you made me happy

Its all the little things that you do
Made me love you even more

You didn't have feelings for me
Yet you treated me so nicely
You were mean,
Youd insult me
But i know those insults, were meant to make me shine
So thank you,
Because you made me know im worth so much more
You made me love myself.
You never judged me for my past
You were always there comforting me
You were always honest
You never lied
Even when you went out with other girls,
You told me.
It was a ******* move to tell me.  But i knew you didnt want to hide it from me.

Its been months now,
And look at you, you're dating someone now
I always thought id be the one you'd fall for
I guess im not the perfect girl for you
But regardless of all that,
Im happy for you.
I hope she's everything you ever wanted
I hope she knows how much you need to eat.
I hope she enjoys your singing as much as i do
I hope she knows how much you love chocolates and how much of a big lion king fan you are.
I hope she comforts you for your insecurities better than i was able to.
I guess i wasnt enough to make you fall for me.
But thank you,
Because knowing you, gave me loads of happy memories.
It's sad that we can't go back to how it used to be.
But i am thankful for everything.
I wish you the best in life
And will always watch you from afar
You are somewhere special in my heart
No matter how far you will be
I will always love you
And i hope you'll know that
Aaron,
Grá go Deo.

I would like to speak to the person who is holding my heart upon their hands,
Do you know you've been holding it?
Do you realize the heart aches feel like stomach butterflies everytime I see you?

Day 1: I maybe thought you were picky and just wanted to flirt around or something.
Day 8: maybe I see things differently than last week, she feels like love but I'm afraid shes afraid of love.
Week 3: progression is part of the process

Good loving still feels good,
So fresh.
Are you here still for me? I'll always be here.
I sent a text about a few days ago along the lines of: ..I love you..etc.

I don't think I can put the emotions into words; it's too complex and so amazing still.