I hereby confess my sins, and must tell you why
Why this man that writes these words and holds the pen must die
Why evil so ferociously invades my mind
And will not cease no matter how hard I try
These words that I beseech unto you are truth and hold no lie

I received word from THE LORD above that I must preach
To take my knowledge of the spirit
To the streets to teach
To spread the gospel far and wide as far as I can reach

But, After 2 or 3 weeks of compliance
While doing His will and honoring our alliance
I was met with a streak of complete defiance

I went out and preached in stores one day
I was satisfied with the work id done and thought it was ok
But upon return back to my home the LORD said sternly, nay
That it wasnt enough and that I needed to preach more today
That I needed to jump back into the fight and jump back into the fray
But in my foolishness I decided that on my bed I should lay
Now ever since, that decision, I have had to pay

Right at that very moment, evil attacked and I became a target
After all this time has passed I am filled with utter regret
Its something I am ashamed of
And desperately wish I could forget

But during those times of preaching
I was always met with fear
Evil had encompassed me. And I was told that if I stopped my death was near
To this day "preach, or die" makes me want to shed a tear
The devil knows of my failures and meets me with an evil snear

Its been 8 months now since I stopped
8 months of mental torture since I flopped
8 months of fearing death since THE LORDS will I had dropped


Now the death that had been spoken of before
Grows and grows to the point that I cannot ignore
The suffering of my soul continues more and more
I don't know if I can take it. So is death truly in store?

I do believe in miracles, but I dont know if I will get one
Will THE LORD show more mercy, or is He finally done?
The grave is looming and life is no longer fun
So don't be a failure like me.
Put your faith and trust in THE SON
And whatever you do, don't turn your back and run!
I should have followed Him. I would have won.

Now I await my death. My life is done.

Holding my hands out as you split my wrists again
Bending my fingers back, I’ll breathe again when I hear them pop

Holding handfuls of glass as it shatters, smaller and smaller.
Sinking into my skid.

How comforting your lies feel.
How cold your love feels.

Dancing around the noose, walking our little circles.
Just kick the stool out, I deserve that.

Maybe the audience will find some solace in the way my eyes fade, maybe they’ll have some pity as my body flails.

Maybe the circles will get tight enough to suffocate me.
Maybe I’ll find the thing that you couldn’t give me,
Floating mere feet from the ground

Slowly letting go
Daydreaming lovers and lies untold
Bold but homely
Bored and lonely
Cross-eyed and painless
Strung out and brainless

Uncomfortable oh comely
Emptiness, friendlessness
I still exist - I think.
I know this isn't all there is
*****, beautiful, broke, and free
Is the only state in which I find peace.

Dawn is breaking and so am I
Daylight bright in misty eyes
I woke alone, in my tent in a forest;
hugged and kissed the void good morning
I miss something I've never had and it's vicious in my mind.

There are certain emotions I am unable to process
They’ve left me suffocated. They cause me to stress
Stress over things that might be of no value in the near future
But it is now; they make me feel like I am a complete loser
These emotions go tough on my body but they flow with ease as I bleed on paper
And the feelings I once had for people I loved, are depleting layer by layer.

Dont call youself a loser
Because that's not what you are
In my eyes and in my heart,
You're a shining shooting star

You are perfect and loving,
The flower that always blooms.
Even when your stuck in dirt,
Your petals gleam amongst the moon

Dont give up the grueling fight
This is what you've known and done
Dont keep beating on your head,
Strike the pain until you've won.

Dont suffer or be angry
Thank God for this great chance
To show them you don't just sing
But steal the spotlight when you dance