To everyone I've ever met,
to everyone who once tried to get to know me.
To everyone who wanted to be my friend,
to everyone who had to deal with me.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I'm stubborn.
I'm sorry I'm insecure.
I'm sorry I locked you out.

I'm working on becoming a better me,
I've realized I turned into a loner.

I. don't. wanna. be. a. loner.

I was born in the past and now I am molded by it
I am a loner with no rest
A rest with no sound
A sound with no depth of which will be put into an orchestra
Only to be overheard as the deep melodies play out into the air
And make the song play against the sky where we would pest the tide

A creature not of here or there
With parts that do not fit
Neither fish nor fowl, horse or bear
A bashed together kit

Too many heads, some with horns
Body furred and scaled
Eagles wings and spines like thorns
And as a peacock tailed

Some aspects might bring a smile
While others will repel
One small detail may beguile
Yet another breaks the spell

Each pack or flock it tries to join
Though they seemed akin
And in some facet quite adroit
Another portion can’t fit in

Every time it tries as best it may
To hide an offending section
Knowing that if seen in light of day
The result will be rejection

So the beast remains an alien
Cloaks what's best concealed
Strives to imitate the chameleon
That no misshape be revealed

All creatures hunger for a home
Chimera hungers too
But it wanders doomed to roam
A haven to pursue

I tried to help but made it worse
I cannot shake this lonley curse
Everything I touch I destroy  
But look to the future for the hope of some joy
Only for it to be snatched away
I don't deserve your time of day
A loner surrounded by people
One side of me is filled with love
And thoughts of being peaceful
The other side is tainted with thoughts of just pure evil

Some people hang their heads in shame
Others hang their heads with rope

A loner that kills pain,
physical pain and for some
a drug for joy, for calmness.
Magical, as a single strike eliminates all the pain.

The loner once struck me into a deep sleep,
where I was floating, like a dream
calmness or a silent blissfulness
I don’t know what this loner made me feel
I just know that it was beautiful.
Silence, silence all over
and then a sudden interruption,
my friend’s panic stricken voice
calling me, waking me up.
Looking up I found her scared eyes,
scared, as in whether I was dead.

A fear outspread that day,
people who loved me feared the loner,
there was solidarity in their fear,
fear of losing me.
The loner was banished, once and for all.

Days passed, years passed,
pain was calmed using wrapped pills.
It never gave the calmness,
the blissfulness like the loner.
He is gone for so long now.

Today, as my body starts to quiver with pain,
I heard his voice,
a soothing voice, asking me
asking me to open the cellar
“Take me and I’ll put you out of your misery”

As I opened, I saw the loner
beautiful in blue.
I took him and all of a sudden
I found contentment in this strike after so long.
Calmness flooded in me once again,
I found happiness in this silent blissfulness.
Silence, silence all over.
But this time my sleep didn’t get interrupted,
for this time it was now and forever.

Dolo, the loner,
now I’m yours….forever.