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Mos Jan 2018
The resentment against tempestuous beings no longer humble me
For I myself have become self deprecating
A suicide note long past signed
Yet it remains caught between my love letters
There doesn't seem to be a difference between them
My soul was sold to keep you, my old love
You gave me a smile in exchange for my tears
Agonizing weeks of backwards self recovery
Each breakdown worse than the last
I gave you my heart when it almost lost its rhythm
Yet that still wasn't enough

The resentment against tempestuous beings no longer humble me
For this jealousy of the world seems to engulf my being
And I lay on a crucifix with your name engraved in my spine
Dante M Dec 2017
I saw a truly haggard man
His eyes were empty and cold
His shoulders drooped
And were shaking to boot
Although he was hardly old

I saw a truly horrid man
His brow fixed in a scowl
His mouth turn down
In a deplorable frown
I’ve never seen one look so foul

I saw a truly pitiable man
He must have been disgusting
His glance was depraved
Looking hopeless and grave
I hope never to meet again, trust me

I saw a truly miserable man
The signs couldn’t be any clearer
He had this look in his eye
That he wanted to cry
God, I wish this place didn’t have mirrors
Eleanor Webster Dec 2017
Faulty factory toys are fun to use, at first
Blue eyed girl with the white blonde curls
From dads side of the family
They coo at her
Before she learns to walk
And talk
And talk
And talk
When they built her in the baby factory
They must've forgot the little red button
The one that says
"Shut up for one single solitary ******* second and let someone else speak"
She doesn't pause to allow the other person the liberty to flit words through the air like songbirds
Instead hers land like pheasants
Shot in the skull
Trickling out opinions that were never asked for
With the brain fluid.

She's got a lot of them too
Opinions
And they're all right
She knows everything there is to know
At seventeen as well
What a prodigy, she thinks
What a nuisance, say the wise men
What a delusional idiot
What
A
Bore into her skull and all you'll see
Behind the kind eyes and philosophy
Is a witch
Entranced by the enchantment
Of her own voice
A selfish *******
Who buys her birthday presents at the last minute.

At least the parents got to have a test drive
A prototype
So they knew what to do right this time
Factor out whatever it was
The ingredients with the sell by date
That made this thing so near to right
But odd enough to be 'not quite'.
This time make one that's not lazy
That's not selfish
That doesn't want to be a ******* artist
That lets others speak
That can contribute and participate
Not sit on the sidelines
Heading for burnout
Heading for disaster-

Uncheck the box this time that says
Sordid mind
That says
Can't reply to texts
Even when friends are on the edge
of suicide, For ***** sake.
Tick the box that unveils the beauty of humanity
Fix it's eyes
Teach her to see these sacks of meat
The way others do
The way you're supposed to
Instead of like puzzles or pictures or packaging for a soul
Create a person not afraid
Of making mistakes
that can make her own decisions
This time make a mind
That can jump through the hoops
Society left behind
Fix her this time
Don't make another freak
On the fringes
Never quite fitting in

And the funny thing is
Even after this ******* perfect kid
Comes along and shows that blue eyed blonde-haired girl
Just how to do it
She's an old *****
No use teaching her new tricks
She'll shut out little miss pretty perfect project two point oh
She can't seem to help it
She thinks the best company in the world is her head
Her head?! Have you seen it
It's barbed wire and sunshine
It’s a rose choked by thorns
Do not touch her-
She will make you bleed.
This is a poem I wrote when I was in a really dark place, which is paired by a poem I wrote later on which was a much more positive self-reflection. The original ending was 'I'm a poor older sister and I am not a good daughter', but I felt that was too personal, so I changed it to be much more visual. This is a slam poem that I performed in the final of UniSlam 2017, where my team came fourth in the country!
Shelley-May Dec 2017
I understand
That I’m not good enough for you
That I’m not good enough for your family
That I’m not good enough for your friends

I understand
that I have little worth Based on my past actions

I understand
That my word means nothing
That my actions have consequences
That I must bear the burden

I understand
That I am now dubbed untrustworthy
That I may not show my pain
That I may not have boundaries
That I am undeserving

I understand.

I am not enough for myself
FRITZ Sep 2017
what was this supposed to be again?

I think I left my keys in the car.
the nightbird sings a song
the humid air beats down like
a while-worn five hundred miles.

a roach tapped against the glass.
a gasp is stuck in my throat like
gross times *****-up and eye lids
shut.

the keys are in the car and this poem means nothing.
MJS Jul 2017
The bitter pill of rejection,
The deep cut from within,
The onset of self loathing
The scathing attack of the mind.
A ******* to kindness, all the good retreating to hide.
My greatest disappointment (in this moment), is feeling foolish
about what I believed and chose to swallow as truth: that I was extraordinary and enough. For him.

I mean, he was dynamite convincing; obliterated my doubts and healed me all at once; showed me love and then came "but" out of somewhere it always existed.

I hate this love **** -- this roller coaster movement that
scrambles my compartmentalized thoughts and accelerates my fear and loathing of something that is meant to be incredible and beautiful.
fm May 2017
her hair falls down her back and
glistens as she flaunts passed me
confidently

she has new jeans and heels that click down the hallways announcing her
arrival

she smiles at everyone and it is so
clean and beautiful that you can't help
but stare

her skin is smooth like the girls'
in the commercials that flash on your
screen

if i am compared to a daisy in a field
of roses then she is the earth
in which they sprout from

she is the definition of lady like
while I am the elbows on the table
at dinner time

she is the girl next door
the one you marry and have at least
2.5 children with

i am the one who has whispered
curses and disappointing stares to
define her

she is not sugar and honey but instead
is the combination of lavender and pine

relaxing and natural

i am hours in the mirror
staring at my reflection wondering
when will it start answering back

she doesn't own a mirror for fear
that she will behave selfishly
because looking at yourself is vain

i think looking at myself
is punishment that i was so wrongly
convicted with

but my paroles aren't short lived
it's a constant voice in my head
saying i'll never be like her

she is everything i am not
because i am not like her
but i want to be
i want to be someone i'm not, but what else is new
Zero Nine May 2017
Where is my self worth?
My self worth is done.
Been burned beyond
Earthly heat by my
Own swollen hands.
Where is the time gone?
My blood is wrong.
My blood's gone bad.
Maybe, could be
From waiting just
To die, tending
Life outside
Myself.

What's wrong?
You've gained weight.
What's wrong?
You're looking old.

Oh yeah?
Well,
I hate myself
...
Zero Nine Mar 2017
I bought a cow
Purchased her with but words
She works for me now
Grab her by the teats I need
Her drink to live
I swallow milk, keeps me strong
Despite this relationship
all wrong, that she provides
green needs
It's all I want
I used to have a cat, cute
andro-trans boy alien
He ****** my ****
Swallowed *** and ****** me raw
Walls fall apart
Every new best thing sinks and stinks
Under the barn,
I bought a barn
Under which the missing bodies compost
Brain stem. Bzz bzzt.
Cereal and milk.
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