He offered me a
golden future.
It came postage due.
           ljm

"What almost killed me never made me stronger at all"

I am trying to sleep, but I can't sleep
My mind is caught up with the last words you said to me,
You put phrases into my mouth, words that were never said
Your tunnel vision has you confused and misled

I wish I could find humour in how you shifted
Changed the song and left me alone
Everyone leaves me in slime
To fight off the dogs with a dull knife
A stitched up heart muscle

I really never thought, you would be the one whose hands, the blood was on
I thought those couple hours I needed you would be enough
They would have

If you even bothered to show up

A dark piece of night sky, I stole to wrap around my naked soul,
then traveled all alone as a penitent to the heart of the darkest night,
to forget,the letdown; you not being in our rendezvous as promised.
Between barren earth and mute sky, a kite adrift; losing  love I am lost.

Love is not for everyone
Love manifests itself in the darkest places,
in the dingy, cracked-tile linoleum
of strangely lit rooms with
flickering bulbs and glazed
eyes staring into the glass
but seeing nothing
on the other side.

Love is not for everyone
Love escapes from the grasps of those who
are the most desperate.
Trailing from their fingers like the
thick, spider-web smoke
of smoldering cigarettes
and the lazy twirl
of a steamy breath
on a winter day.

Love is not for everyone
Love flames and burns the world,
setting alight anything anyone
once told you about life.
Love consumes
and then spits hearts out like
a machine, fine tuned for
efficiency and not meaning.

Love is not for everyone
Love smiles with gleaming white teeth
that hide a black rot deep
under the shiny pearls of illusion.
Love brushes a hand over
people who least expect it, and
love leaks from eyes in
shimmery crystal rain drops.

Love is not for everyone
Love is made OV LiEs

When I was 4 years old,
I remember sitting on my grandparent's front porch waiting for you.
"I'll pick her up at noon" my father would say,
But I'd wait and wait all day.
Every time, he was a no show.

But old habits die hard,
and over the years I attached myself to those who left me and let me down.

14 years later,
I am now 18 and haven't seen my father since.
"Never will I feel that way again"

I am in love with someone who was there for me,
The distance made it hard,
But we were experts at making it work.
Visits every month were the thing we lived off.

We live together now,
and his video games have spent more time with him than I.
The most time we spend together are when we sleep,
And I've finished all 4 seasons of The Walking Dead this week,
Sitting in our room waiting for you.

"Never again" I said,
and I guess I am the one who lets myself down.
Falling in love with a person who loves games more than me.
But what can I do when I love him more than me?

I have found the trail that will lead me back to you,
The further I walk, the more hopeful I become.
The heartache I feel to find an end
To realize that it will never fully lead to the gates of your new home.
That I will have to continue,
Searching for that way to be with you.
Once again I'm left to miss you.
I thought I had found the path
To the other side.

Respect me and I shall protect 
you with my life!
Step on me and I double dare
you to NOT be spared!