I feel like I’m letting your heart skip
while shattering it into at least ten million pieces
all at the same time...

My thoughts are like rain. They start off slowly like a drizzle, I feel the emptiness start to take its course through my body
The rain gets harder.
The terrible racing thoughts go through my brain like knives.
Being convinced I'm not good enough, That nobody wants me around, There is thunder rumbling through me. The tears start coming out of my eyes. I can't move, I can't breathe, I start to feel numb. Soon there is a hurricane going on in my head destroying everything in its path.
My confidence, my beliefs, my dreams.
Everything gets shattered.
My eyes are so filled up with water my vision is blurry
and I just want this storm to pass so I can experience the
sunshine once again.
To feel the warmth of happiness.
But every time I do the rain cloud immediately
comes and starts to pour on me and drowns me in these evil thoughts. Over and over again.
My head is pounding, I want to scream But I
feel like no one would hear me because of how
loud this storm is. This happens every night
and every day I try to get stronger to beat this rain
so I can have more sun.

I should start a farm
of sheep so I'll have enough
To count when I sleep

Fact is, you can only relive memories through photos.

Do you know why that is?
It’s because time machines don’t exist.
Photographs will have to suffice.

Every photo, every expression…

You can’t recreate or alter them.
All you can do is remember.

Sadness from a past relationship, heartache from a family member that passed away. Joy from the time you moved across the country, or from that vacation you took and the people you met.

Even so, I wish there was a time machine.
Not to alter the past, only to relive the memories once again.

‘Till then, I’ll display them in a cathedral in my mind.

you make me wish
i could stretch the seconds flat
so that my time with you can last forever.

we don’t know if we’ll still
hold each other close every morning
or have each other to lean on
years from now.

years
a year
weeks
a second

we might last forever
or we might become memories we ponder
when we reach a forever without each other.

but i will try
i will try to grasp your hand
as tightly as i can
as we approach the time ahead.

and even though we might not have a lifetime,
let us try to make it through what time has in store.
and if we don’t end  together
i pray that we can still glance at each other
from miles apart and still smile
at something that made
us dream about the slightest possibility
of a forever.

good night, handsome love I've lost
do you remember the name of every star
that has ever shone for you alone?
I know it's silly how we're so old now
that I couldn't recognize the lines of your brow
even if you were somehow still here with me
it's quarter past sleep and the streets are calm
but the world is still ending, I've read
dad used to tell me about the apocalypse
how humans and God will destroy the earth
remind me I've always been a sinner  
never destined for a rapture but yours
though, I hope He never tries to saves me
we all know I'm a mistake
the person who fills an empty gap
but is never made for that space
I sit alone in pitch black in empty cemeteries
reading the names of the tombstones
waiting for the day the letters forming me
appear on the rocks before my eyes
in that night, when you're ready, tell me:
will you wait for me in the abandoned parking lot
by the tipped broken cart at half past dead?
let me fill your space just a little longer.

Awake. 3:11.
I wish again.
For more hours with you.

there are nights when i’ll tire myself out chasing cars and city lights or writing about constellations i don’t even know, and there are nights like this, when i can’t help but steal our happy endings from the poems you haven’t read. there are nights like this, when your name dislodges me from the orbits i learned to tiptoe in just so i can forget what walking next to you feels like. there are nights like this, when i wish that our songs will wane with the moonlight.

there are nights like this, darling — when you’re asleep while i’m out here trying to unlearn the patterns of missing you — nights when i miss you even more than i want to.

there are nights like this, darling.

there are nights like tonight.

In the thick of sticky summer heat
A voice that still makes my heart skip a beat
Run my tongue over the sound of your name
Knowing nothing could ever be the same

Your love was motion sickness on a highway
Your love was a red card for foul play
The double yellow lines we once sped by
Made a hole in my heart for you to occupy

Now that hole has become a shallow grave
Everyday, a vast emptiness I stave
More than anything, I miss your eyes
Or how for once, I needed no disguise

In my mind we get to roleplay
You say through the night you'll stay
We both wake with sun on our skin
My fingers trace the outline of your grin

But I wake with no sunshine near
The dark emptiness only brings fear
Every day is a cycle I can't break
My life is shallow and fake

Though you've left, I'm glad you came
Every cherry tree still speaks your name
Part of me wishes you'd hold me once more
Whisper that I'm who you adore

This summer I hope you find someone new
I hold no misconceptions - we're through
I'll always keep you near my heart
Now and forever, together or apart