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Nat Jan 2
Said I was sheltered
Then showed me some real ****** up ****
I could never forget
You left a mark
In the worst way
Like an earthquake
You shook me up
Opened my eyes
To all the lies
Opened the door
To all that was hidden
I should have never seen
Knew me the best
And still did what you did
No respect
For me
**** hit differently
After seeing it so vividly
And I can’t deny  
Thought **** wasn’t fair to me
But now I see it so clearly
Tunnel vision
The bigger picture appeared to me
Something bigger
I’m meant to be

Nat May 2020
I wish things were different
I wish we talked more
I wish you’d let me in
I wish we were closer
Instead we’re distant
You linger through my mind
Thoughts I can’t push down
Feelings I can’t ignore
Memories I cannot erase
Everything is you
I can’t no I won’t decide
Between me or you
Let you go ?
I hold on tight to whatever we have left
I drown myself in my own pain and sorrow
Because I can’t express this to you
I wish I was a priority to you
What am I to you ?
Your words don’t match your actions
You leave me feeling lost
But still I stay
Hoping you change
I wish things were different
Nat Apr 2020
I put your needs before mine
Even at my worst, you’re the first thing to come to mind
Love deeper than the ocean
Your waves crash over me
Pull me in closer
Devour my soul
With just one stare

I’m always there for you
Put your needs before my own
That’s how much i love you
Nat Mar 2020
You effect me in ways I didn't know existed
affect me
infect me like a disease
inject me with your toxic love
an adrenaline rush
the high i can't seem to shake; You're intoxicating
Over medicating on you
I feel my soul levitate and become one with yours
Intertwined hands
locked eyes
as you go deep inside
steal my mind
You're one of a kind
I can't seem to find
Captured my body
it is yours now
You've taken over me
Without realizing you're lying
'Cause this high makes me sick
Suffocating on your words
like smoke that's so thick
I can't see what way to go
tell me to confide
in you
we're on different paths
No matter where i go
i always lose
my mind starts to play tricks on me
i just see visions of you. . .

Tell me what to do.

  Mar 2020 Nat
I found peace in my honesty with you
In the purity of my love for you
In the transparency of my soul I bore
I found it in the acceptance of all of you
Hidden in your emerald eyes
It was in your scent
To breath you in was a pleasure I cannot express
I found it in your handwriting
The smooth fluid strokes
I imagined your small hands
Gripping the pen as you opened your spirit to me
Brushing the hair from your face
'Twas so soft like feathers of an exotic bird
Your voice, the songs of heaven to my ears
You were the orchestra and the conductor
The high crescendos and gentle whispers
I wont ever forget that love
Even though I told you I would
It will live with me until I leave this world
Nothing could make me relinquish it
That perfect memory of you
You were my shooting star
My only wish
You were my home
In a world full of monsters
You were my everything
You still are in a way that only I can know
I love you My Dear
And if you read this please know
You are still loved very deeply
My heart wont let you go
Nat Mar 2020
I wish it was different
If I could rewrite history
You’d still be in it
Because I hate it here
Without you something is missing
Can you hear me ?
Are you listening ?
Why can’t I just be
I feel us distancing
is it good or bad
I can’t decide
With you my heart lies
No need to deny
You were my everything
Capture my soul and mind
With you it was different
I could never explain
Something hard to find
Sparks of flames
Never die
They can’t understand
Something that can’t be described
Wishing you were still mine

  Mar 2020 Nat
Max Vale
I don't wanna fall asleep,
I don't wanna shut my eyes.
Because every time I close them,
All I think about is lies.
The promises you made,
You said you loved me too.
But now you're gone our memories will fade,
Like all the love I had for you.
But I want to fall into bed,
After a very long day.
I want to feel your touch again,
Saying it'll all be OK.
Now I'm sad you're gone,
You never said goodbye.
And like all my dreams,
They'll surely fade and die.
But now we're done,
I hope you'll finally see.
There was no need to run,
I'm sorry you lost me.
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