I don't know why I get so down and I
don't know why I keep getting
trapped
I don't know why I can't stay up and I
don't know why I can't stop thinking
of raising
a cup or a glass of something strong
enough to influence me
something to get me high or just
enough to quit the suppressing
choking me back with these thoughts
I can't get rid of
it doesn't take much these days
to get me
down, down, down
lately all I know is my head just spins a-
round, round, round
nothing much to focus on to keep me
from drowning
I don't know what I'm doing but clearly
I'm frowning

Every time I zoned out of  reality, I started to overthink. It was just a bunch on nonsense and profanity going through my head. But, I felt as if it was important to keep thinking about those thoughts because no one else really seemed to think about them too much. If I thought too much, however, I felt depression harmonizing with my veins and intoxicating me slowly.

And it was a ****** feeling.

I've also come to realize that most of these ****** feelings have no original beginnings, they just create themselves. And oh how ineffable it feels. To feel so much -- too many -- and not have a single answer to these nefarious emotions.

Its one a.m. youre still on my mind.
Its one a.m. and your eyes were as bright as the stars
I cant help but feel not to feel these scars
I cant help but to feel these marks

You are my moans in the dark
You are the tears and the screams
Of this lonely broken heart
That is now slipping at the seams

I cant, I wouldnt and I dont know
How to bid my farewell to your soul
But I guess time will come for the both of us
To feel the wounds that heals deep within us.

I didn't tell you when I told you goodnight how much I miss you and how much I want you in my arms right now, about how much I want to feel your heartbeat on my chest. I can't bring myself to tell you how much you really matter to me, and how hopelessly, eternally, and deeply in love with you I am. I can't tell you that I don't just want you, but I need you. You're my favorite drug, and I'm an addict past the point of rehab. I didn't tell you that knowing you're not just down the road makes me feel so small and I didn't tell you how much I feel like I don't matter to you. I want to tell you all of this, but I want to hear that I matter. I want to know that you miss me, that you want to kiss me, and I want to hear these calming words from your beautiful heart. You never leave my mind. You're a grand distraction. I can't even take tests or watch tv without thinking of you. Get out of my head and please get in my arms. I miss you so much. Those are the things I left unsaid. That I didn't text you. All of that was compiled into a small goodnight, but you have no way of knowing what I really mean to say.

i wonder if you can see
     a single beauty in me
  just like I see the whole universe
           in you.

we were in constant dispute like the Capulet's & the Montagues
but a love like Romeo & Juliet
like Tybolts & Merctuios hatred for each other , very passionately
ride or die like Romeo & Benvolio
trying to hold each other down
sacrificing lives for on another
but just like the poison Romeo drank
you were poison to me

I used to find comfort
In darkness,
Silence,
Isolation.

But now your presence follows me
Through the night.
You cast silver shadows on my walls,
Ghastly fingers reaching for
The windowpanes

Trying

Desperately to break in.

Even the thickest of curtains
Can’t keep you out.

I am never alone
A sliver of light
Is always there
Reminding me
You are
Here too.

Somewhere deep in my heart a love burns for you,
Still unsettled within my breast,
Longing for a better understanding of your soul.

With a simple gesture,  time and time again, you've swept me off my feet,
Yet somehow with every passing day,
Our fates seem to drift farther from what I have dreamt.
This drift, though small, seems a mass so grand,
I feel as if my only choice is to watch as time runs away.

But as I watch those precious moments trickle by,
I can only marvel at how wonderful you have made my existence.
With every day, you've shown me the wonders of my own soul,
And I am left to wonder what lies inside your own intentions?

And though I may feel as if our time is nearly spent,
I also know from within that fire deep in my breast,
That our paths have not crossed for a final time,
But have only drifted apart,
A missed stitch in a tapestry much more grand than you or I can see.