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  Jul 2015 Hillaryy
Gabriella Torres
Some nights
I wake up at 4 am,
with the taste of smoke at the back of my throat

I swear to God,
you're still burning somewhere inside me.
  Jul 2015 Hillaryy
Help me.
I am failing.
I am being torn.
I am hiding so much behind smiles.
I am hurt.
But hiding this hurt with a smile.
Stress is tearing me down.
I'm fine right?
I should be.
Whats wrong for me to be so depressed?
But then i figured out.
Its so much stress.
I have to be perfect.
Or I get my dreams crushed.
I hate this.
I am not perfect.
So why do certain people try to make me this perfect college material thing.
I will be the first in my entire history of family to be successful.
I will be the first to not be a failure.
My mother told me when i was 11 years old of age i'd never be a musician.
She told me i'd be terrible.
She told me i'd fail.
4 years later.
I proved her wrong.
Ive become the one thing she said i'd never become.
I became to be the most successful out of everyone in my family.
I am the one now with the name thats recognizable.
I have simply proven every person wrong.
That have told me i cant do anything.
Now they say i wont ever be happy again.
I'll simply prove you wrong once again.
Just watch me.
Hillaryy Jul 2015
Every time I zoned out of  reality, I started to overthink. It was just a bunch on nonsense and profanity going through my head. But, I felt as if it was important to keep thinking about those thoughts because no one else really seemed to think about them too much. If I thought too much, however, I felt depression harmonizing with my veins and intoxicating me slowly.

And it was a ****** feeling.

I've also come to realize that most of these ****** feelings have no original beginnings, they just create themselves. And oh how ineffable it feels. To feel so much -- too many -- and not have a single answer to these nefarious emotions.
[I'm still retouching this poem a bit to improve. Thank you for reading loves.]

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