I don’t know myself.
Sure, I know what I like and dislike. Everyone who’s lived with themselves should know this.
But do I really know myself, just from my likes and dislikes?
Do I know how I truly act in front others?
How I act in front of myself?
Why I act in a certain way? Why I find myself happy one moment—
And then suddenly angry the next—
And then depressed the next—
And in the end—
The overwhelming,
Drowning, yet
rational feeling,
Telling me, over and over,
“No one will understand you.
Stop acting crazy.
Why are you even like this.”
No loud screaming,
No over-the-top crying,
No excessive movements.
I silently churn out feelings
In bed, with tears on the pillow
When no one else is around me.
When I’m alone
At 12:35 a.m,
Sunday.

What does your soul say through your eyes
Do they show your truth or do they show your lies
Are you really happy with yourself and your path
Or is something in the way, is it holding you back
How do you know what you feel is right
Is it when you feel less of the dark and more of the light
Is there a happy medium, like what Buddha taught
Is everything an illusion, or is that just one thought
How do we know what we really feel
How do what know what is truly real
Our souls create reality and there are so many different kinds
How many universes are we projecting with our minds
We are each a deep expression of the  universe and the divine
But if that's the case why do so many of us whine
Why can't we find the power that's within
Why do we sell ourselves short, why do we see things as sin
Karma isn't even what people think it is
They mistake it for the law of attraction, what goes around comes around, but that's not it
Karma comes at the end of life and it tallies our deeds
It's kind of like judgment day, but it's our soul it feeds
Tell me what I did, was I as good as I thought
Did I learn everything I needed to, was I righteously taught
I know I learned lessons and I know I hurt souls
But I didn't do it on purpose, I just played many roles
I taught people lessons and they taught me mine
In life we have to learn quick, we don't have much time
Our lives are short, but they sure feel long
Is loving everyone deeply right or is it wrong
The emptiness in us, it comes and it goes
Sometimes we feel dull, sometimes we glow
It's hard to be consistent when things always change
Just adapt when we need to and transcend our ways

Just thinking about how
Here we are
Casually talking about the future
and how we're going to have fun
and I really hope that we do
and that I end up with you
and that no matter what I do
I'll always pick you

all the pieces,
puzzled in ways not even one can understand,
everytime I try,
every intention,
urges me towards you.

burst of emotions,
like a sudden gust of air,
carrying you in every particle,
you
you
you...
days spent forgetting,
turn into nights of remembering,
remembering all of it,
so realistic,
I could reach for,
reach to you,
a pulse of light,
so bright
it beacons.

everytime I get close,
close enough,
to see,
to feel,
to call it a reality once again,
It suddenly gets separated,
simple as you and me
scattered by distinction

depths that I've never felt,
in depths that I've been left

surfacing every dawn,
to once again sink in every dusk,
a cycle so vicious,
so ruthless
a piece of me is lost,
until,
the end of days.

Tell me, does it scare you?  
The thoughts that creep through your head when you're alone st night tucked into your bed.  Do the shadows still catch you off guard as you begin to drift into a dream
  Oh ****, now you're well awake talking out to yourself.  Don't you wish you could just get some sleep?  You beg the thoughts to end and for the shadows to go away.  You haven't danced with the devil for two weeks now & so they have come to redeem you.  You toss & turn, even turn on a light & you scream " I'm clean, please just got away,  let me continue to be free".  They're getting closer, the thoughts are beginning to corrupt your head.  You're sitting in the corner saying a prayer.  Tell me, did the devil redeem you?  Or have you claimed yourself at last instead?