every year the rivers and lakes freeze over
and sometimes i think maybe my heart does too

I am a lake
I am full of turmoil and water
There is thick mud at the bottom
All kinds of things get stuck
There are bodies buried inside me
My chest is full of corpses
I ripple with every disturance
Surface tension broken by those who do not lightly tread
I tend to overflow I tend to spread the bog

Standing on a ledge in a summer's night air
Wishes shimmer across a dark lake
Light as a wisp of air
Dreaming yet still awake
At a time when I believed in hope
Lost dreams that still overcome me, when I am all alone
Back to this moment, I wish I could lope
Wrapped amid
The warm night air
When I was just a kid

you are like:



                    a mirrored lake, everything below the surface.

           handwritten love letters and bright smiles.

     a quaint cottage surrounded by wilderness.

          the glimmering sand and burning sunsets.



               the whole night sky and everything beyond it.

          the force in the tide, the chill in the breeze.

     lingering glances and long drives.

lightning and thunder -

                                                -and everything-

                                                                                                      -in between.

You can feel my wistful and grateful looks
Following your silhouette along Boyukshor
In one of the dreamy days, we'll abruptly meet there
Very deeply I believe and I am sure.

Ah, my lake, I see you through her shiny eyes...
She loves you and I love both of you in turn.
I feel I was a bit late to love the life,
In revenge, my feelings it'll wittingly burn.
  
The last joys are shining out in a glow,
Is there a chance of constant unity?
Just virtuous Boyukshor always stands by
At least for calling up dreams of you and me

Having three lines and points of feelings,
I tried to match them from any angle.
Among me, Boyukshor and your existence,
I could not create a triangle.

Either me - standing lonely on its shore,
Or just you - wandering along by your own
And Boyukshor can't see us together just yet
One of us incessantly has to feel alone...

i felt the great lake in the summer time
i swam beneath her depths
her currents rushed beneath my feet
the upwelling water refreshed.
i knew the great lake in the winter time
i walked across frozen waves
i saw her ice and destruction
her chill took all i gave.
i never met her in October
when her shores were cooling down
the west winds glazed over her churning surface
surrounded by orange, then red, then brown.
the world around her was dying
but she was coming alive
excitedly, she slammed the pier
warning all to step aside.
sand whipped across the naked beach
but now my body was not bare
i was protected by an autumn sweater
and i learned from the springtime wear.
we rode our bikes through forest dunes
the sun snuck through the departing leaves
the last remnants of summertime fell to the ground
air whistled through the trees.
nothing can last forever
no matter how sweet, how pure, how true
there is a time when it ends and falls to the ground
and waits to become anew.
the lake must let go of her summer guests
and spend the winter alone
the trees must release what holds them down
and with freedom they may grow.
i sit here holding onto something i loved
even though it is no more.
my fingers still gripping onto the strings of the past
like waves afraid to leave the familiar shore.
maybe i can learn from the autumn lake
maybe i can be like the trees
maybe i can release what holds me down
and step out into the chilling breeze.
it scared me once to be alone
to face the world with no one by my side
but when i let the cold air hit my face
i felt a tingling sense of pride.
we cannot fear what we do not know
we cannot live if we do not let go
a seed is afraid to fall on the frozen ground
but in the springtime, she will grow.

On a lonely pier at night
Thousand lights dance in the distance
Me, I'm dimly lit by nothing
But a lantern near my side.
Bathing in its warmth and glory,
I look up to thank my giver-

rotten. eyes. stare. back. at. me.
dead flames
piercing
i. freeze
i run
run

run.

I feel my body fall off the pier
w a t e r
I sink into the lake I eyed

as my soul flees from my flesh
the lantern suffocates its spark
and i hear the screaming noises
of a thousand burning flames
endless choir of countless voices
singing 'long the sounds of death

And I
Remained quiet.

"...what is seen, but what is UNseen, for what is unseen is eternal."



(sonnet #MMMMMMDCCCLXXIX)


Twas MY lake once as twere, which now in pale
Morn's fragile Sunday calm is placid hence
In slate-grey silence wandring voices fence,
But don't as frore winds own this Janry scale
Of lost joys I view from afar in sheer betrayl,
The naked trees' black silhouettes as thence
Sae gaunt or rattling bony fingers, whence
Is't that the only call I catch--winds' hail?
Snow melted by rain,  how th'expanse lies fer
Blue heavns' half clouded eye so dead, yet to
My soul's perception, 'ginning now to stir
With hope, though March is but a dream.  We knew
So many things, once, and the lake as twere--
Its ***** like a mirror--shows 'gain what'd woo.

14Jan18a

Along the lake,
her feet danced
in the ripples
of the wake.
Along the waves
crashing against
her little legs.
The joy she craves.
Along the lake
she splashes
and enjoys the
memories she'll make.