Why is it no matter how many words
   I plaster to a page with a broken heart,
How many poems I write about you,
How much I love you,
   That we aren't together living in happily ever after?

You're engrained into every cell of my existence.
Because every beat of my heart cries out in pain for you.
Every tear that escapes from these hollowed eyes,
    Is every word I left unsaid to you.

*I'm sorry I never confessed my love for you,
It's just something you didn't need me to do.
Maybe you'll one day find out and know,
Perhaps then we will unite in love.
Tonight is just so much pain,
Of not having you.

I want to capture your beauty,
In a jar.
And hold it close to me,
Every night.

When I feed my lust
When I lie through my teeth
When I condemn and judge
When I lose my way
When I make myself appear good
When I am only bad...

It's not the angels
It's not the priests
It's not the prophets
It's not the apostles
It's not the saints
It's not the churches...

It's God Himself who weeps
His tears that collect
At the foot of His Throne.
Unending love like that
It's my Abba, that I forgot and left.

Let there be no dawn from the sun,
I wish it not to be,
The dark pits of my mind's eye,
Leave me withering,
Cradling any hope and goodness,
But it is dead in my arms,
Like a smothered infant child,
My tears turn to blood,
Fingernails claw rock as I slide,
Further down,
Echoes rise up this chasm,
Earth falls on me...