He's always with my friends,
And I'm always with them,
And I kind of see him every single day.
The funny thing is this,
That I have a secret wish
To see how long—if—he can stay away.

One Sunday he slept late
And boy, I felt great
Knowing he'd miss church with us together
But smiling with chagrin
I saw him back again
When everyone meet up to eat our dinner.

I mentioned it that night
Before he I left his sight,
And he suggested—with us laughing together—
That someday, both of us
Should, without a fuss,
For fun, passively avoid each other.

Today has not been long
But so far I've been strong
And haven't sought him out, or told him so
But I know that tonight
We'll meet again, alright
And once again the count shall be zero.

I've decided my sadness
Is not about you
And all of my worries
Are only mine, too

That I don't wished you liked me
I'm just overall lonely
I don't think you ignore me
I'm just not your somebody

I have my own life
I shouldn't make it about you
When you're yourself
I should be myself, too.

There is no romance
But I'm pretty sure you care...
You say "I love you"
But you say that all the time
To everybody. And me.

I chose to forgive
And my hatred and anger
Dissipated, slow,
And mellowed out into this:
Apathy and honest care.

I try to be kind
But sometimes it's difficult;
You wouldn't believe,
But I can hold a mean grudge
Over something pathetic.

It distresses me:
I just can't think straight these days.
But one thing I know—
I am alright without you,
And that comforts me.

I thought I could hide:
You seemed unassuming then;
But now, you see me,
And I know you look through me—
That you know, reassures me.

I am no longer
This version of me has changed
Who I was has gone;
I didn't like who I was,
But it frightens me, changing.

Too often I lie
When I smile at you and laugh
Because deep inside,
Knowing you has made me drown
In this, my pit of self-doubt.

Again, I am found
In that familiar place
Where I hope for much
Expect little, and am shocked
When I am neither to you.