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AStarsHeartbeat Jun 2017
There are two roads astray
Both leading the same way
One is right, one is wrong
One is filled with light but the other doesn't belong
I assume I know which is right
It's obviously the one with light
But it leads me to the labyrinth that is my mind
I'm scared to death by what I find;
I see the battle going on within
Both sides fighting but neither will win
A few small words are all it takes
To save the lives and lower the stakes
To stop the battle before its begun
To prevent deaths caused by a sword or gun
To the outside world I show a neutral face
All sorrow vanishing without a trace
But inside my head lies a scattered mess
And no one to save the damsel in distress
Prince Charming is fighting in the war
Not knowing who he's fighting for
Until it finally comes to one a side
Both charging forward prepared to collide
The battlefield is no place for anyone...
So why do I stay still instead of run?
Swanswart Aug 2016
I

Home
inside the house of the lording
a frenzied pumping play.

Within
the colander
pouring the mold—
an altar of fetid sacrifice
and perfumed devotion.
My personal Pentecost (conversion
out of form)
My feats are handed to me far
ahead of my own devices.
Filling it up
Faster! Filling Faster!
Draining filling faster filling!
faster faster!

Violet lids are locked open in a rose
colored stare of thorns.
Puddles form opaque
and uneasy across the floor.
Ripples flex and bend-
a taste of lavender sweat and kisses
washes across my tongue
the flavors coagulate obscenely
stirring thirsty petitions
for more

II

The sunlight slits its way through the shutter
to rest upon the floor.
It strolls languidly across the breadth of the room
defying perception with a cadence
that patiently consumes the afternoon
Within
the anxious minutes struggle to keep pace





III
Speaking with the tongues
of omens and devils
Love is nothing
and I am less
Charity is the anchor
and compassion the straight-jacket
Lies! Lies!
Memory is privy to the cure.
I am up to my ankles in defeat
Wading through my room in shackles
a supine sense of clemency
bends my knees in prayer
Mercy! Mercy!
Mercy-
for the barbarians and schemers
and those who long for sleep
for the bleeders and the healers
and the **** crowd that pays to watch
for the hidden and the hiding
the blind,  the short-sighted, and the bell gatherer on a leash
for those who have never seen their own spectacle
and for those who have yet couldn’t laugh
Mercy! Mercy!
Mercy to all
Without

IV

Within
the pool rises
In genuflection I supplicate my position
Surrounded by the baptismal abyss
I contemplate immersion
into the excrement
I have poured about myself
A frivolous query of destruction complete
It’s a sprite idea
a fairy thought
flirting with my insensibilities
teasing my degrees with magic and trance
with spells that bind the curious
to moonless night visits
and the breaching
of hoary sepulchers alone
Filling! Faster! Faster!
Draining! Faster! Faster!
Filling Draining Filling
Faster! Faster! Faster!
The colander is engulfed
within

V

Afloat in the mire
of ponderous subversion
excess has risen heavy upon my heart
swelling about my neck
with rigorous aplomb
licking my lips with tar and suffrage
To my feet
I must stand!
I must keep my head above
and chin up

Gut-check drench and saturate
seeping into my passions
seething out of my skin
and into my dreams
sealing me inside myself
It is an epiphany of osmosis
Sangfroid boiled to satiety.

An emancipation?
Is this contentment I feel?
Could this be...
I AM FUFILLED
if but for this fleeting
whim of a moment
I’ll take the burden as luxury
my soul rings with ******
my body shudders with dissolve
I am without—
Time
Needs
A Home




VI
I catch the last shards
of sunlight lingering
upon the far wall
Glowing
So alive in those last few moments
bright as language
etching vivid accomplishment
fading
memory
gone

VII

Ecstasy is swallowed in desperation
a flotsam and jetsam exchange
Grasp-breath beg and flurry
for space
wallowing head-full pleading
swimming in vibrant exhaustion
I writhe back into my skin
like a womb worm foraging
for original flesh

The casket ceiling offers me
Othello’s kiss
I see the cacography on the wall
and it’s my eulogy
blind as a battering ram I am
the walls before me
the colander cloys
the cullion claws
the cauldron is full


Boiling drown the barricade
the gallowed decision
is no simmering reaction
to the pangs of entropy
The filling has ended
my effluence has trickled to a halt
A maelstrom opens
draining Draining DRAINING
Within





VII

Without
The vortex rages
a frenzied drowning dirge
my eyes scour the darkness
scrubbing the void for light
The nothingness gawks back
shadows swirl in the pit
of my stare
I close my eyes in defiance
turning my gaze to the visions
Within
My thoughts are black
my dreams are black
my mind is an obsidian landscape
of residue and remnants
purged in the strain
of the colander
within.
Breeze-Mist Jul 2016
Do you think I could make it?

No one's watching me right now...
I'm outside and there aren't any guards

I don't even have to show up for another thirty minutes
No one would even think to look for me until then

I could just run off through the trees
And never come back

I could go on the road north
(Probably by hitchhiking)
And be in the international city
Where no one would find me

Why should I stay here?
My peers taunt me
And treat me like a contagion
Those in charge of us
Find me to be a troublemaker
And exclude me from groups for it
And I'm always bored with our work
I finish hours before the day is out

I could just leave this island
And never come back

....I could do it...

....they'd catch me
I can't get off of the base
Without climbing over razor-wire topped fences
Or swimming over open water fully clothed
And if I tried the gate
The gaurd would easily stop me

I could hide inside the complex
But when they've realized I've escaped
The military police will be called
And they will comb the base
Cornering me until I'm surrounded

I'm going to be released in one year, anyways.
I can make it one more year, can't I?

Can I?

I don't have another choice,
Unless someone were to help me
Sneak a sailboat into my escape route

Hold on, girl
It's only one more year

Wait, am I late for class?
I've got to get back
Before they notice that I'm gone
Sorry, this is more of a soliloquy than a poem.
This is basically an internal conversation that I had with myself every day in sixth grade.
I lived in Florida on a military base at the time, and I just hated school. The work was to easy and boring, the teachers had a hard time dealing with me and my behaivor when I acted up, and the other kids liked to pick on me. I was a teacher's assistant to another teacher durring study hall, and I had thirty minutes every day with nothing to do, as I had finished my job and lunch hadn't started yet. My school's hallways were outdoors, and there were no teachers watching in between classes, so every day in that thirty minutes of free time, I would stand in the hallway and fantasize about running away to Miami.
This poem/monologue were my thoughts in sixth grade.
julia Apr 2016
start
no
stop
go
it hurts
you're fine
i'm dying
you're trying
i can't
you will
i'll do it
stay still
only one
then some more
start with two
turns into four
start
no
stop
go
Max Southwood Apr 2016
Rage
Followed by fear

Blank expression
Abandoned voice
Traceless imprint
Jaded enthusiasm

Scream into the void
Preach your poison gospel
Fear fills your frame and flows through your veins
Anxiety is your life blood

You crippled, broken beast
You pathetic excuse for a man

This is not me
You are not I
I live, ready to drink the sweet nectar of life
You forsake it, spitting in the face of altruism
This is not me

A crippled, broken beast
A pathetic excuse for a man

So many others crave the life you so readily condemn
Anxiety is your life blood
Two egos trapped in the same vessel
I owe myself life
Yet all you know is silence
Each and every one of us struggles with the person we are and the person we think we should be. This is my attempt of capturing my own personal external, internal, eternal struggle.
Dear
I don't go crazy
I live there
Like the leather shoe
And tales from wives
It is this mad horse
That I ride
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
Some people's demons
Look at them through different eyes
Mine stair silently back
From the mirror before me
Phoebe Hynes Apr 2016
I think harmony is one of those things,
that can only be determined from an internal blueprint.
Concepts emerge,
and this reasoning is extracted,
from beautiful objects and ideas.
Simply,
an idea formed,
and              framed
by                        a
grouping           of
other                ideas.
-df Mar 2016
No one understands the pain that surges through my body.
I am engulfed in flames.
And yet they laugh at me as though it's just a quirk.
As if I want to be this way.

I'm drowning and yet they tell me to swim.
Every breath is a cry of despair.
And yet they stand there breathing without a care.
As if I'm playing a game.

I thought they loved me.
These were the people I had chosen to let in.
And yet they threw away the key.
As if it didn't cost me anything.

(-DF-03/27/16-)
Sometimes people don't realize the inner turmoils each one of us deals with on a daily basis. Let us all learn to become more observant.
Tahirih Manoo Nov 2015
The biggest addictions are not external

It is the state of mind of that human (internal)

And most persons these days are addicted to sadness, hurt and pain

And though they claim they hate it ,
They do it themselves over and over again

Just as an addict hates his crave for a CIG
But lights one anyway, to satiate his regular routine

Sadness is worse, for it affects the greatest weapon we possess- our mind.
If the mind is weak, however will we battle our challenges?

A sad mind is a soldier going into war without his shield, helmet or sword, who has shown up empty handed and is prepared to lose before the fight has even started.
12:10 pm.  8th, November, 2015.


A strong mind won't have any negative addictions.
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