I see your beautifully sad emerald eyes
I see the glow of your skin with the sun rise
I see the furrow between your brow as you frown
I see how easily in you I could drown
I see your thick raven curls and how they move as the wind blows
I see the gentle ***** of your strong nose
I see the curve of your sly grin as you tell dry jokes
I see your long slender fingers which lead into large strong hands
I see your statuesque height when you stand
I see the innocent kindness in your face so I love to stare
I also fear the anger in it beyond compare
I see you change every day; mostly in a good way
I see so much  potential and intelligence
I see how you could blossom with due diligence
I see the excitement in your eyes and smile when you learn a new skill
I see the way you leave your heart open waiting to be filled
Perhaps it's my fear of your criticism
Perhaps it's my pride, my shyness, or my cynicism
That I don't express how much I see in you
We both know I'm not one to boast, but
You are the one I see and love most
Each day I discover about you something new
Do you see me as much as I see you?

check the rooms, lock the door
check it all over, then do it once more
the sun is my comfort, she'd visit in the day
but at dusk she'd always leave me
so in the dark i'd wait.

i didn't sleep till sunrise
when i felt the bright warm rays
and glimpses of dark shadows were at ease
so nights were for thinking
and days were for dreaming
no time to think about responsiblities

my anxious thoughts teased me
pills much less pleased me
but Lexa healed me
of insecurity

my smiles were still silent
amber eyes were vibrant
but still they were glazed with fatigue

silent tears flowed down my cheeks.

i did not speak
unless spoken to
i'd only laugh to go along with you
but the air flowing from my lungs held no tone
it was melancholy & weak
insides clenching my screams
i just wish that somehow you'd have known.

I know you feel
Intelligence flows within
Thanks be unto you

Can't they see
That the only reason Trump has suddenly fallen in "love" with Mexico
And Christian rights is because it is getting closer to voting day?
Well you know that people are *SO dumb that they
Would go gay the "TRUMPY" way, believe anything the desperate
****** would have to say...

Is all about time,
timing. . .
Just give me
more time,
I'm working on it.

On everything.

everywhere us control freaks are categorized as the bad people.
we're the narcissists-
the mean ones.
every assumption leads to us being put off as people who abuse those around us.

i am a control freak.
i get furious when things don't go my way to the point of wanting to cry.
i hate being wrong.
i want to ****** the happiness and the "rightness" off of your smug face.
i want to grab my throat and squeeze the stupidity out of me.
i want to bash your mouth with my fist until you can no longer speak-
until your words are so incomprehensible that everything you're saying must be wrong.
i want to always be the smartest guy in the room,
i hate not being the smartest guy in the room.

i want and i want and i want
but i never do anything about it.

perhaps
black and white
is not as distanced
as you thought
maybe even hoped
I am here
to prove that

I do not see space travel
as an evolutionary event
I look at it as an excess
of dissociative disorder
colonialism and the making
of whiteness
whiteness
justifying the guilt
by searching
and searching
somewhere else
not somewhere better
just somewhere else
there is nothing better
than how we evolved
are place within experience
all that surrounds
us is intimately woven with
our sheer experience
that has evolved
without the possibility
of memory
or redundancy
or even a pattern or repetition
to desire somewhere else
is to leave the best
most evolved experience
of being human
organic intelligence
artificial intelligence
has patterns that are not evolution
or the experience there of
they are patterns that are also
of this desire to be some where else
where ever it may be a space
or an entity
an other
counter-transferance
aliens
colonization
product of whiteness
excess
the profit of colonization
dissociative disorder
from the experience of being human
if you teach people that evolution
is something related to a process
that is merely the documentation
of the desire to be somewhere or something else
slavery is a combination of somewhere else and something else
it is like aliens
inherently under control
of a powerful military
actually the alien extracted from
their home
all mighty whiteness
is the most powerful
dissociative power
evolution did indeed give us the possibility to dissociate
but is was designed for empathy
not as a tool to be somewhere
or something else
the experience of
the dissociative human
declaring whiteness
has other opportunity
but to experience slavery
since it is a dissociation
it is delusional
and although the human
dissociating may not be within
the structure of slavery they conceive
they are without
the original
experience
I notice them
organic intelligence resumes

There is nothing wrong with being attracted to beauty
it is a beautiful thing
magnetics and irony
amethyst and memories
black fist of power
proud ovaries breathe melanin magic
hearts of silk spun
resilience is narcissistic too
you know
revolution can declare martial law too
maybe it already did
you would not know yet
the coal used to be us
now we are diamonds
stolen from the earth because of our sheen
our glimmer stuns the most magnificent darkness
a teal sunset sparks the imagination
hallucinating smoking quartz