for a long time, i experienced everything with you
from sadness to laughter, being crazy too
will it hurt to wish for another chance to do?
will it be okay for us to start again anew?

i know, i know it all too well by now
those feelings of yours have long gone by
but how can i keep myself from tearing apart somehow
if since then you have stopped to try?

i guess this is goodbye
but i still don't want to
this feeling of wanting to keep it together is just an alibi
for the truth is, i never stopped loving you.

everytime you told me you loved me
it sounded sinfully real
so i fell for it
and those three words
broke my heart into three more pieces.

you were never mine,
i was never fully yours

and never will i ever be,
the reason you keep breathing

Tell me a time
U needed me
A time u grabbed ur phone
2 text me.

Have u ever rung me
In the depths of the night
Just to hear my voice
In the darkness?

U could say u had
U could tell me u need me
But I’d see our messages
Or rather, my messages:

The lines and lines
Of my words,
Calling ur name,
That go on for miles.

Punctuated by one of urs
A smile :)
Or a word
And nothing more.

How can ily
When u never respond?
How can I be obsessed
When there’s nothing:

No message
For me to obsess over.
Ily
But u never,
ever reply :(

let your depression soak up all your emotions that are left
in that so called heart
between your ribs

let your blade be the relief of your pain
that is going to be
the only feeling you’ll be left to feel
after the ****** scars finally covered every part of your hips

let your negative thoughts
control your life
until the so called heart eventually shatters into its
toxic broken pieces
which reflect the emptiness
in your eyes
the stony hole in your chest
now lost its ability to fix
your soul

let yourself fully dive
into the process of
slowly
dying
inside

congratulations,
you just lost the ability to feel and unlocked
„survive“

ps: there’s no chance that  you’ll ever again receive your ability to feel

she says i love you to everyone she knows,
because she’s afraid it will be the last time she can.
and i say it back,
but it’s forced.
and i struggle.
for so long those words didn’t make sense to me.
but now when i say them back to her,
as she leaves my car,
i mean them.
but in a different way than she does.

I'm nothing without
soft kisses in the moonlight,
bodies entangled
as lips trace constellations
made with freckles on your skin.