Descry the glittering sand,
Every coin is vestal, unused.
He cast unto the well,
Uttering a spell
That dwindled on his aching lips.

Amiss, his voice does not graze
Her conscious divination.
A thousand times again,
He strives-
Just for a spare thought.

But the fool, consumed, controlled
Wallows in the walls
She sculpts around him.

He begins to work away the vines
Of her honied tendrils.
Yet, each finger twined of gossamers,
Drenched in delirium.

Nay, she rejects his presence.
But grants her endless visitations
As a specter, with a Faustian kiss.

He drinks of her,
To parch his arid throat.
Remote, he holds the seed
Which festers within.
Forever.

Put on your disguise,
Avoid their searching eyes,
Hide the pain,
If you wish to remain,
You opened up to sunshine,
Hoping for cloud nine,
Instead, you got burned,
Now I hope you’ve learned,

there have been
bad storms & blue weather
& i've been
battered, bruised
& treated like a feather
grown up listening to sad songs
never thought it would last this long

now i know
- - -
so long as i'm still here
this is all that i can feel

i always feel as if i'm locked outside of some magical paradise where everything is better. happier. easier. maybe the door open if
i'd eat less
exercise more
learn how to talk to people
(to let people in)
dress better
have more money
(more friends)
be less lazy, boring, useless, dumb
(*******)
i'd love to enter that paradise someday, and feel my problems fall away from me,
like taking
                         off
                                       a bra
                                                          after
                                                                               a long
                                                                                                  day.

Oh, to live as one wishes—
Free from money, feelings, and ***** dishes.

Able to run in the fields and admire the stars,
sip tea at night and heal from your scars.

To learn, to grow, and think thoughts unabound...
To sing loudly and sadly with no one around.

To bother another with trifles of life
And forget the wonders...forget the strife.

People are wonderful, full of mystery and sorrow,
But I hate the ones who only think of tomorrow,

And cease to love the beauty in this world,
And think only of money, and drinks to be hurled,

With no rhyme or reason, no purpose at all,
Nothing to appreciate , no reason to fall.

Indifference my enemy, I can’t stand the grey...
People of no opinion, this is your warning: stay away.

Perhaps, one day I’ll understand why you did it.

Why you pushed me through the ground and expected me to reach for your high expectations.
Why you branded me with your dying wishes and made me feel selfish for adding my own.
Why you assumed that it was the attraction of other women that ended our love when it was really because I chose to come home.
Why you listened to your heart and felt as if it was okay to mute out mine.
Why you pinned our actions against one another and claimed me dense and blind.

The list goes on and on but I for one don’t have that much time...

Perhaps, one day I’ll understand why you did it.

Why you made me feel like there’s nothing that I can do right.


- a.r. Camm

some days, I feel very small
like no matter how loud I cry
how many times I try
everyone looks over my head
and no one can hear me at all