We never had a song—
no chorus to hum,
no melody stitched
into the seams of us.

And maybe we didn’t need one.
Maybe the silence was enough.
But you love music.
And I love music.

So how did we not have a song,
if the love was real?
When we were dancing
were we pretending to feel?

I wish I lacked empathy.
I don’t want to feel.
I don’t want to see signs.
I don’t want to be real.

One minute, I’m fine—
then my soul explodes in my chest.
I wish I didn’t see that.
But I did. And now, no rest.

I wish I could shrug,
say “that’s not my concern,”
but every flicker of pain
Causes my stomach to hurt.

I notice the silence,
the shift in your tone—
there's nothing in your voice
It's all I think about alone.

This is why I'm standoffish and stick to just me
There's no ache in loneliness
At least not the kind that stings

Maybe I'll make friends but that feels like betrayal
These self imposed rules- a safe fortress failure

I wish I didn’t feel
At least not to this extent
My day was going so good
But I ruined it again

I’ll love you from here,
While you go about your day.
You may not want this—
And really, that’s okay.

I hope you find the love you deserve,
One that never makes you feel anxious,
A love you don’t have to earn.

I hope they come healed,
With no mess to clean.
I hope it’s better
Than even you’ve dreamed.

I hope they take one look at you
And know they can’t be mean.

I’ll love you from here
And hope sometimes you feel me—
Because it was all real,
And I’ll never forget the feeling.

thought you
had a good
thing goin'—

but all that's
left is
you, alone.

you spent time
finding the right one—
but the right one
never made it home.

you thought
you'd give it
one more try—

but love was
harder to chase
than fame,

and all that
remained
were fading echoes
of late-night crying.

nobody understood
you then.

nobody
understands you
now.

you think to yourself:
“when will
the next heartbreak
come around?”

you thought
you understood
modern love—

but modern love
doesn’t
understand you.

She's flying away
For good this time
Fells like we only just met.

You make heaven seem so dull
With your beautiful laugh
and tumeric juice.

You were never mine to lose,
Yet I lost you nun the less.

Entangled forever,  
until the tides forget to pull us apart.  

You soundly touched my soul,
And left no finger prints

We said goodbye,  
I wished you well.  
You said  It's just words.  

I knew That was the last time  
I calmed your flames.  

My deep blue waters are void again.

I wait at the lobby of your old apartment.
Just to remember how it felt to drop you off.

Riding in the rain seems a lot less fun.
Walks in the park a lot less nice.
And songs in the dark a lot less paradise.

I love you gently,
The only way I was allowed to.

I really hope you don't read this poem.
So we can stay goodbye.

Knowing you,
you'll have another one of your
Gut feelings and just know I do.

You're actually gone aren't you?

As rain pours over the city
slowing down the pace of all,
nostalgia comes running
to mock me for what could have been
the first meeting,
the first date - feelings sweeter than tea
your hand on mine and the warmest hugs

maybe could've become
first anniversaries,
forever date,
laughter turned into lullabies
we'd pass on to our kids one day

It mocks;

yes, our eyes whispered all we wished to say,
yet borders drawn in blood and names
tough choices and
Prayers said in different tongues
Parents who'd never soften
even if we'd held hands
and begged.

So, I lied,
blurred the truth,
pushed you away
to protect you
from what we could never have

Then, comes the haunting horror -
the ache,
the nightmare i wish i could be awake
from, not into,
of why 'you and I'
could never be We

Yet still I smile when we meet
like I never tasted the dream
That still claws my rib
the dream
I wish was,
Mine!